From Intern To CMO

It Doesn't Interest Me...

2010-10-24T07:12:00.000-07:00

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. 
I want to know what you ache  for, 
and if you dare to dream of meeting 
your heart's longing.   

It doesn't interest me how old you are. 
I want to know if you will risk looking 
like a fool for love, for your dream, 
for the adventure of being alive.   

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. 
I want to know if  you have touched the center of your 
own sorrow, if you have been opened by  life's betrayals 
or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further 
pain!  I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or 
your own, without moving to  hide it or fade it, or fix it.   
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, 
if you can dance with  wildness and let the ecstasy fill you 
to the tips of your fingers and toes  without cautioning us to be careful, 
to be realistic, to remember the  limitations of being human.  

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. 
I want to know  if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; 
if you can bear the  accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; 
if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.   
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, 
every day, and  if you can source your own life from its presence.    
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on  
the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”  

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. 
I want  to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, 
weary and  bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.   

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. 
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.   

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. 
I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.   
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the 
company you keep in the empty moments.   

By, Oriah Mountain Dreamer 
copyright © 1999 by Oriah Mountain Dreamer.

A little morning sweet for thought...

2010-10-24T07:08:00.000-07:00

"You can't have a narrow mind when you have a thick passport"

Have You Listened Today?

2010-08-15T08:10:00.000-07:00

Tried to give you a warning but everyone ignores me

Told you everything loud and clear, but nobody's listening

Called to you so clearly but you don't want to hear me

Told you everything loud and clear, but nobody's listening.

~ Linkin Park "Nobody's Listening

Sitting at my kitchen table, gazing out picture window this Sunday morning, I am realizing that I need to improve on a skill. The skill of being an active listener. Many miscommunication have happened this weekend between me and my beloved that all started from ME not being an active listener.

Definition:

ac·tive [ak-tiv]

–adjective

1. engaged in action; characterized by energetic work, participation, etc.; busy: an active life.

lis·ten [lis-uhn]

–verb (used without object)

1.to give attention with the ear; attend closely for the purpose of hearing; give ear.

I can remember many years ago when I was much younger and living my Life at 100 mph. The hustle and bustle of making it in the Music Biz made me a terrible listener, drowning out any "noise" that did not pertain to the immediate job at hand. I was a terrible friend and a horrible confidant for I was barely "present" at the brunch we had yesterday, or the dinner we shared last week or the late night phone call we shared as you lamented about a problem with a boyfriend or the issue you were having with your girlfriend. If I had to take a test after each encounter, I would fail miserably.

When I decided to change my Life, I dialed back in and became what I call an "active listener". I missed out on some much and didn't want to miss out on another minute! I became a member of the PRESENT and it felt really good.

But there are those moments in Life when we slip back into old habits...

We are so busy trying to say only what we want to hear, listen only to the words that we want to hear. By doing this, no only are we creating havoc and confusion in our lives but we are paying little respect to those around us, mainly those that mean the most to us. Communication is an essential element in the game of Life, yet we as human beings have the hardest time doing this very thing. Is successful communication an art? I would say it truly is.

Think about all the arguments, mistakes and hurt feelings ensued from poor communication? Or from poor "listening" because successful communications is a 2-way street. The blame does not fall on one person's shoulders, no matter how much we try to argue that it does. And when the domino-effect take places, poor communication can effect the masses. And don;t even get e started on email communication - that is an entire separate blog indeed for 99% of the time I wish people would just PICK UP THE PHONE instead of sending that email that started a whirlwind of confusion/frustration/anger/etc/etc/etc/etc.

So today is a new day for me. Another chance to resolve the sins of yesterday and do better and be better.

Try being an "active listener" today and let me know how it works out for you.

~ From Intern to CMO

I AM THE GREATEST...

2010-07-29T14:01:00.000-07:00

I will persist until I succeed.

I was not delivered into this world in defeat, nor does failure course in my veins.
I am not a sheep waiting to be prodded by my shepherd.
I am a lion and I refuse to talk, to walk, to sleep with the sheep.

The slaughterhouse of failure is not my destiny.

I will persist until I succeed.

~ From the ancient scroll marked III in THE GREATEST SALESMAN IN THE WORLD

I am currently reading this book and its one that I highly recommend. I was given this book by my dad who always knows what I need, when I most need it. On my 30th birthday, he gave me THE PROPHET by Khalil Gibran, another life changing book (more on that later).

Its all of 110 pages and you probably can finish it in an hour but I don't recommend you speed read through this one for as you may remember, your Life lesson may be drowned out by the "noise" if you don't pay close attention.

Go out today and get this little book of inspiration and apply it today to your life. You too can be THE GREATEST...!

~ From Intern to CMO

Lovely Thoughts...

2010-07-27T13:46:00.001-07:00

Sailing
Takes me away
To where I've always heard it could be

Just a dream and the wind to carry me
And soon I will be free

Fantasy
It gets the best of me
When I'm sailing
All caught up in the reverie
Every word is a symphony
Won't you believe me

~ Christopher Cross

My time spent in the Carribean still tugs at my heart and fills my days with wanderlust..

Don't Stop Believing

2010-07-20T17:48:00.000-07:00

Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world

She took the midnight train goin' anywhere

Just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit

He took the midnight train goin' anywhere...

Don't stop believin'

Hold on to the feelin'

Streetlight people

Don't stop believin'

Hold On

Street lights people

~ Journey

Funny how when you truly let go and allow yourself to BELIEVE, wonderful things begins to manifest in your Life!

This was reaffirmed to me recently from watching a young gentleman finally get the opportunity he has been BELIEVING would happen.

Day after day, he would come to the office and work hard for FREE. We would talk often about his journey and goals, sometimes candidly expressing his fears and concerns to me. After many (and I mean MANY) months with no opportunity breaks on the horizon, I must admit, I told him he may have to make a bold move and "move on". But he didn't take my advise and stayed put because he truly BELIEVED this break would manifest.

And as sure as the sun rises each day, he got his chance to SHINE! Finally!

I am experiencing a revelation through the actions of this young determined man. Like so many others, I too have been believing in a goal. But certain trials have dampened my spirit and made me doubt. But once I reaffirmed myself and released the negativity that likes to keep one rooted in a bad situation, I have happily noticed how things are shifting...quickly! I feel even closer to achieving my desired result and most importantly, I am filled with a sense of peace and calm.

I give thanks to my young colleague for helping me get back on track, turning a deaf ear to Life's "noise" that had been filling them for months. His actions resonated louder to me than any words could.

Life's lessons, big or small, sometimes come from unusual sources. Be attentive at all times and listen closely to the unspoken moments to prevent your lesson from becoming drowned out by all the "noise".

~ From Intern to CMO

Standing At The Apex

2010-07-14T13:17:00.000-07:00

How long has it been, dear friend?

What happened?, you may be wondering.

I humble myself and admit that Life challenges completely consumed me and I lost my footing. As much as I love being WONDER WOMAN, I do realize that from time to time, I AM human and fragile and a slight pressing of one's foot on the brake pedal is warrented and flat-out necessary.

I believe almost all problems pale in comparison to the solutions and what is truly important is not the trails that we experience but how we emerge from them.

I can say I have emerged renewed, centered and prepared to claim my reward! The trials have made me stronger (funny how that usually is the case), demonstrating to me the strength that lies quietly within gaining power and victory over the emotionally exhaustive moments in Life (woo-sah!!!!!!!!!!!).

I just celebrated a birthday, my 40th! And for the record that was not the reason for my silence or influx of Life challenges. For those of you who know me well, know that I love birthdays as much as I love the dawn of a new day for each present infinite possibilities of the possible, no matter how big or small they may be.

As sure as a caterpillar emerges from her cocoon, shiny and new, I also have emerged!

NOW WATCH ME FLY!

~ From Intern to CMO

The Art of Reinvention

2010-05-09T13:25:00.000-07:00

Stop haunting me now
Can't shake you nohow
Just leave me alone
I've got those Monday blues
Straight through Sunday blues
Goodmorning heartache
Here we go again
Goodmorning heartache
You're the one who knew me when
Might as well get used to you hanging around
Goodmorning heartache
Sit down
~ Billie Holiday "Good Morning Heartache"

Athletes practice their game all the time. Every single day, trying to perfect that jump shot, dunk, ace, or touch down.

Musicians practice their instruments every single day. Going through hours of exercises, learning a new song or difficult transition.

In the business world, sometimes we get caught up in the day to day act of just doing, executing or simply trying to get the job done that the practice can get lost in the mire of "just trying to get the job done". The practice that us business men and women must do is reinvention.

My dad was the King of Reinvention. He started his career as a draftsman. Through the years he had to reinvent himself many times in order to stay urgent and competitive in an industry that was rapidly changing before his eyes. I witnessed this constant reinvention in awe and silent respect for Change is constant but not always a welcome visitor.

Great men and women in business today know very well the Art of Reinvention. You can not stay stagnant in any area of business or you will be knocked off your pedestal by the new kid on the block.

When I was working in Video Promotions, I started to see subtle changes in my industry. MTV started replacing video hours with long-form programming. The days of watching videos for hours on end were dwindling to a few scattered hours here and there. Shows were reigning supreme on these channels and my job was holding less importance. MTV was leading the way for this change in how their channel was being programmed but the others followed shortly after. Now as most change happens, it was slow yet steady. If you weren't paying close attention, you may have missed the obvious signs. But I saw them, and knew I needed to reinvent myself. And I made a early decision to move from one area (Video Promotions) to another (Marketing). This would not be the last time I reinvented myself nor will it be my last.

Hello Change, come inside for a cup of joe and a chat.

~ From Intern to CMO

Anything is possible..if you BELIEVE

2010-04-26T18:04:00.000-07:00

"Wow! You were unbelievable. Thank you so much for speaking at Washington Irving High School. You truly had a positive impact on the group. They were definitely inspired and appeared to be very comfortable being themselves and talking with you.

As you know, these young women live in transitional housing or homeless shelters and face many challenges on a daily basis.

The power of your session was evident when one young woman told me that she was going to rethink her future based on your talk. "

I recently had the honor of speaking to a group of young and spirited high school female students from Washington Irving High School in Manhattan, NY. After breaking through the temporary walls they put up around themselves, we laughed and exchanged stories as if we were old friends. This is what I love do. This is why my blog was birthed. To me, paying it forward is so important, maybe even more important for our generation than those before us.

When I was a college student, I enrolled in a Sociology course that focused on the art or gift of "giving back". I would go once a week to Jordan Downs, a project development in a part of Los Angeles called Watts. I would mentor young pregnant teenagers that were attempting to complete their studies and receive a GED, despite their current condition.

I'll never forget that first meeting, standing in front of about 10 girls who looked just like me but our worlds could not be more different. They could not wrap their minds around the person that I was. A young African American girl in college, who spoke different, acted different but was really not all THAT different. At first, they wanted
nothing to do with me. Funny how someone's difference can initially be so frightening. But I was persistent and didn't cringe or retreat after receiving the barrage of harsh words spewed my way. I broke down the walls, one by one, and I would like to think, I started to make a difference.

That was the beginning. And I've been giving back or paying it forward ever since. I have learned throughout the years that you won't be able to save or reach everyone. But it never fails that out of the crowd, a brilliant light will force its way through the darkness. During my meeting at Washington Irving High School, one brilliant light made it way too view. She was lovely, smart and determined. I saw her. I see you ladybug.

As she made it a point to walk with me to the front door of the school, she promised me that she will stay in touch. I have no doubt that she will.

Make it a point today to pay it forward in any way you can. The reward is indescribable, the feeling is intoxicating. You will find that your kind deed or favorable word will change you more than you realize.

~ From Intern to CMO

Its All A Blur

2010-04-16T09:46:00.000-07:00

"Deja Vu tell me what am I gonna do
When I reminisce over you, my God"
~ Pete Rock and CL Smooth "The Reminisce Over You"

With Coachella happening this weekend in Indio, CA, I'm reminded of my first Coachella experience.

For those of you who are not familiar with Coachella, it is a 3-day music festival held in the desert of Indio, CA (near Palm Springs). There are three main stages and lots of tents on the grounds. Its a music-lovers dream as the line up is diverse and you are destined to find your new favorite band while rocking out to your favorite band of all time!

I love Palm Springs. I would take many "road trips" during my high school days with friends to this desert oasis. My mom had a condo in Palm Springs so all we needed was money for gas and food and we were OFF! Endless days and nights filled with swimming, playing tennis, bbq, and all the other debauchery that goes along with being 16 & 17 years old!

So when I had the opportunity to check out this magical festival located in my favorite desert oasis, I was more than down! What made the trip even more spectacular was I was heading down with my favorite band - BLUR! They were playing Coachella in support of their much-loved release THINK TANK.

The trip started with us at David Letterman show. The band was performing on the show then driving down to Palm Springs. I love a road trip. Hours of comedy, loud laughing, the telling of stories and just hanging out with good friends.

Now Coachella is a BIG THING and a bit overcrowded and filled with too many "people who think they are too cool for school", but the year I went it was still a bit "indie" and undiscovered. The sun was high in the sky and music was loud and good. You bumped into friends and co-workers here and there, but everyone was exceptionally chill, no posturing at all.

When Blur took the stage, I positioned myself on the side of the massive stage and watched in awe. Damon Albarn, with his aching beautiful voice mesmerized the crowd. And when the ever-classic SONG 2 was performed, it was so intense to watch thousands of kids jumping simultaneously in the air along with Damon.

But the moment in time that will forever stay with me is when the song "Battery In Your Leg" was performed. It was something out of a story book:

the sun was setting in front of us.
Damon was singing the words ever song melodically...

I got nothing to rely on

I've broken every bone

Everybody's stop believing

But you know you're not alone

You can be with me

the crowd was stick-still.
you couldn't hear a murmur from crowd of thousands.
time stood still...
and so did I.

Moment like these are far and few for I have witnessed and been apart of many live shows. I will always be a music lover. God bless those that still are.

~From Intern to CMO

Welcome back old friend. You've been missed...

2010-04-11T11:13:00.000-07:00

Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be

So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost loves always do
~A Fine Frenzy's "Almost Lover"

Its been over a month since my last posting. I apologize for letting so much time past between our last visit.

So much can happen in a short period of time. But it really hasn't felt like a short period of time to me. The past 30+ days have dragged on for what seems like an eternity.

You know the feeling of jumping into the ocean or a deep pool of water. The sounds all around you become muted, slightly distorted. You feel as if you are suspended in a void of nothingness, yet are acutely aware of everything around you. My time spent away you, my friend, has been a empty of void, with me moving through life in a sort of altered state. Its exhausting for someone like me; someone who prides herself on being proactive, being a game changer, being a positive influence. Or at least trying to be all of these things and more.

But its Springtime and her arms are shaking off the cold, stretching out to embrace the warmth of her season. I too am glad to be waking up from my disturbing slumber, shaking off the cob webs that were covering my mind and body ready to start anew in every way.

~ From Intern to CMO

Homecoming

2010-03-09T15:26:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

I've just returned from a day dream that has lasted for 2 weeks.

Do you know the feeling when you're going through the motions, just kind of getting through each day, floating through the hours because it has all become a muddle mess of endless pie? Ok, well, maybe you have or maybe you are reading this like "is she crazy?".

I just returned from a week in LA. Then right when I was settling back into the groove of normalcy (well normalcy for me), I was told I needed to be on a plane in 12 hours to go to Paris and London.

Paris? London? My 2 favorite hometowns. Normally I would have been psyched! But lately I've just wanted to curl up on a couch with my husband and sleep, eat, wander aimlessly through the streets, and most importantly, just relax..for a moment. But not in my world. That is a bit too normal (one can dream right?).

After breaking the news to my not very happy husband that I was off again ("but you just got back!". "DON'T REMIND ME", I retorted), I packed and got my mind right for the job that lay ahead of me. Presenting an album to the head honchos of the Polydor UK and Polydor France.

Landing in Paris is always like a homecoming for me. I have missed you so, Lover. I fell in love with the city at the tender age of 12 and its been my secret lover ever since, tugging at my heart to return more often than I'm able to.

Many times my days in Paris were filled with...

Parties with friends
Long lunches in an outdoor cafe in the Marais
Closing the night and welcoming the morning at Buddha Bar
Long walks through the city to Montmarte
Shopping along the Champs Elysee
Smelling the flowers in the Tuileries
Having tea with Sting and Lenny Kravitz at the Hyatt Place Vendome

Sigh....

It is sweet heartbreak to bid adieu to the City of Lights, but "Londontown" beckoned (and was next on the itinerary).

Another city that I love. Planned time after time again to move there. During my years at Def Jam, I would save my vacation days for the year and spend a glorious month and half in London with my dear friend Pam and her boyfriend Ross (Ross plays guitar in the awesome band Morcheeba).

My days and nights would be filled with...

Dinners at Momo's
Shopping at Top Shop
Sundays in Notting Hill
Drinks at the "real" Soho House
Dancing and dinner at Electric
Ending up partying with Grace Jones at St. Martin's Lane
Hanging out with Damon Albarn of Blur
Seeing countless bands at Brixton Academy
Watching movies at Charlotte Street Hotel

The memories are endless and I am so very lucky to have been able to travel far away from my true hometown (LA baby) at a young age (thanks Mom and Dad). Its something that is uber important to me and has shaped the person I am today.

Even though the reasons that brought me to these places last week were work-related, it was still great to be there. I was able to steal a few moments to pop into Colette in Paris to grab some ALife sneakers for the hubby and attended a nice party at Club VIP , where libations and dancing took place. Made a new friend, Laurant, the owner of SKY ROCK radio, who I know will become a great friend over time as he is too cool and a true music lover!

As hectic as my life may seem, it is my life and I do love it. I've worked hard to be able to live life to the fullest. Its never a bed of roses or a cake walk. When you think about it, nothing ever is. The journey is what I live for, the funny stories you accumulate along the way, the interesting people you stumble across, the faces that remain permanently etched in your mind.

Yes, my friends, the journey is what is truly important. Make it an interesting one. La Bonne Vie (the good life)!

Au revoir,
~ From Intern To CMO

For all the up to the minute action, follow me on twitter! @interntocmo

From Yesterday - The Video

2010-02-17T14:58:00.001-08:00

To see the final product of the hard work done in China, click on the link to view
"From Yesterday".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5uSu2fTIOQ

I am very proud of this body of work! Enjoy!

I Need A Serious Plan of Action

2010-02-17T14:21:00.001-08:00

So many times I need to have you by my side
To be my friend, my lover and my guide
Oh, baby
Don’t keep runnin’

My heart is yearning for your love
My heart is yearning for your love

My heart is yearning for you
Let me inside your love
Whoa...my heart is yearning for you
Let me inside your love
Your only

(Keep runnin’)

(Keep runnin’)
You can’t keep runnin’ in and out of my life
(Keep runnin’)
You can’t keep runnin’ in and out of my life
~ The Gap Band

While the van drove us back to the city of Shanghai, we did our research.

First - we need to find where to get an emergency passport
Second - we need to find out where to get an emergency exit Visa.
Or should we get the exit Visa first then the emergency passport.

OH MY GOD. Don't panic. Think this through because its Friday and government agencies are closing early and there is ZERO room for error. Who loses their passport in China??? I wanted to strangle him but then I would be losing too much time doing that!

Anyone that has been to L.A. knows how terrible the traffic is. I mean it can take you anywhere from 45 minutes to over an hour to go 5 miles in L.A. Well my friends, traffic is Shanghai was about 1000% WORST than traffic anytime, any day in L.A.

Our trusted guide remained with us to help navigate through this menagerie of events. But he wasn't as on point as I thought for the first place we went to was the WRONG US Embassy! There are 2 US Embassies in China??? Of course not!

We switched plans and decided it was best to go try to get the emergency exit Visa first. So bobbed and weaved through more traffic en route to the American Citizen Services Department. It was packed. The lines were endless and so were the forms. Once we were routed and then re-routed to the right official, we were told that we had to get an Emergency Passport FIRST before then can process the paperwork for the exit Visa. WHAT? Its already past 2p.m. and they offices close at 3p.m.!!

With less than one hour to get this done, we raced out of the offices and back into our van we bobbed and weaved through even more traffic to the US Embassy and Consulate offices. I was a sweaty mess by this point and couldn't remember if I had eaten anything since we left the hotel in Hung Dien hours ago. The traffic was so insane that we decided to make a run for the Embassy on foot! Right as we approached the doors, the officials closed them. We missed it by seconds. Defeated, exhausted and smelly, I broke down in tears. I mean huge, alligator size tears. The officials felt pity on me and allowed us to enter. Normally it takes up to ten business days for the process to happen from start to finish - I got his passport in one hour flat! Don't mess with a woman on a mission.

Emergency passport in hand, now we had to make it back to the American Citizen Services to get the exit Visa. It was late at this point and we had an hour before the offices would be closing for the day. We were beat down but encouraged that we would get the documents we needed and be on our way back to the US tomorrow morning. I mean we got an emergency passport in one hour right?!?! Getting this last document would be a piece of cake.

Oh how nasty that piece of cake turned out to be.

~ From Intern to CMO

The Amazing Race out of China

2010-02-07T08:47:00.001-08:00

The speed
The sound
The wind
The crowd
You can't stop my heart
Oh oh yeah
Racing through my heart
Oh oh yea

~ Miley Cyrus

As most of you know, I am a HUGE fan of CBS's Amazing Race. I want and plan on being an contestant. I remember having the opportunity to meet one of the producers of the show in a meeting that I was having with my old boss. Needless to say, once I found out that she produces for the show, the meeting we were having became a bit..altered to say the least. I'm sorry JF, but I couldn't help myself. I really LOVE this show.

So here we were in China, wrapped the 2 week shoot. Exhausted yet excited at what we had done. Now the plan to was for each of is to physically carry 2 reems of film on the plane with us. There was no way we would ship the film back - it was too important and we were taking no chances.

It was 8am and we were all gathering in the hotel lobby getting ready to check out. We had to get going soon to drive the 6 hours back to Shanghai and allow enough time to get through security with the film and our rather large group.

"Wait - I can't find my passport", said one band member.

"Relax and think where you last had it", I said calmly.

He went back to his room, retracing his movements. After emerging in 30 minutes, he exclaimed that his passport was lost.

No. No No No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Ok breathe. Don't panic. Be solution-based. The thing with China is before leaving for the U.S. we had to obtain an entry Visa AND an exit Visa. This is bad news! Not only was it Friday and all government agencies would be closing early, the band also had a performance for FUSE and Bamboozle West on Saturday, then was going no tour Sunday. We had to figure this out and get back to the U.S.

Ok breathe, think, make a plan. Here we go:

The group will proceed as planned to Shanghai and go directly to the airport.
Since we are two people down, we will have to ship 4 reems of film to the US and everyone else can carry 2 reems on the plane with them as planned.
I will stay with the guitar player and an escort and driver to run around Shanghai to get an emergency passport and Visa.

Ok! Hands in the middle...BREAK!

As we drove the 6 hours back to Shanghai, I was on the computer figuring out where the US Passport offices were located and the American Citizen Embassy where we could obtain the emergency Visa. My heart was racing the entire time because we had to beat the clock! We had to get all this done TODAY or we would be stuck in China until Monday - which is NOT an option at all.

Drive. Drive faster. Please!

~ From Intern to CMO

HAPPY SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!

2010-02-07T08:03:00.000-08:00

I was in Miami on Thursday co-producing this TV spot with DIDDY for CBS Sports! The process is usually hectic and stressful but the end result makes it all worth it! Its all about the SOLUTIONS not the problems!

Tune in to the last hour (5-6p.m EST) to CBS' Sports SUPER BOWL TODAY PRE-GAME SHOW to catch the spot!

Who are you rooting for...Colts or Saints

~From Intern to CMO

Back to our regularly schedule program...

2010-02-02T14:10:00.000-08:00

You all are probably wondering what happened in China??

I mean I left off with a crazy cliff-hanger about someone not being lucky.

Then...I went silent.

Sorry friends, let get's back to our reguarly scheduled programming...

Walking into the local hospital was not what I expected but hey I'm a woman of color in a little town in China - I bet they were saying the same about me! Ha!!

But seriously, that night was pretty scary. The well-being of this 19 year old kid was in my hands. The doctor spoke no English, they wanted to inject him with something from what I felt was a dirty needle which I wouldn't allow.

Finally another doctor was called in (I think they needed reinforcement because I was a raging lunatic at this point) and he spoke a little English. Enough for me to allow him to treat my cameraman. I sat on the bed next to him all night without sleeping. Finally at around 9am, he was awake and on the road to recovery. We went back to the hotel and he went to him room to continue resting. Me? Back to set!

That day was like a mirage for me. I was present but not. Talking but not remembering the words. I needed sleep, a hot shower and a good meal. Any order would do. And I cried silently to myself knowing that I would get none of the above anytime soon.

Finally I gave in and went back to the hotel. But not before witnessing the finale shot, which was breathtaking. We had orchestrated a beautiful medley of acrobats, fireworks, dancers all standing and performing behind the band on the steps leading into the Emperor Qin's Palace. And I realized that this is so much more than a music video. This is a short film, an epic feat taken on by a den of thieves with a dream. We were doing it. Not talking about it but really pulling off what NO ONE thought we would.

I slept soundly that night. Probably the only time I did during my stay in Heng Dien. Sleeping happily because tomorrow would be the last day of shooting and we would all be heading home to the U.S.A.

I am glad I did sleep well that night because I had no idea that the next few days' events would turn into my personal submission tape for CBS' AMAZING RACE!!

~From Intern To CMO

SIDE BAR: "A Humble Offering"

2010-01-31T12:13:00.000-08:00

I'm currently in Los Angeles for the Grammy Awards festivities. With shifting priorities, I stopped coming out for the Grammy's and honestly forgot how much of a whirlwind it can be. Last night reminded me and my aching feet are reminding me at this very moment as I compose this entry.

Lunches. Brunches. Dinners. Parties. Concerts. The People.

Oh The PEOPLE - the most important part. Some will call it "networking", which always makes me silently laugh for it makes it seem like a shallow hole filled with insincerity. Maybe because it usually is. But to me, it is always a thrill to run into someone you haven't seen in a long time. I want to know how you are, what you've been up to for I miss our time spent together and its just nice to stop and remember you again.

At the House of Blues last night, I ran into an old co-worker from my Def Jam days. We both worked out of the LA office and laughed when he said "it all started across the street".

And it went on and on all night like this - running into old yet familiar faces, catching up and reminding ourselves of moments in time spent together doing this-or-that, walking away with a smile on our faces.

One chance encounter made me feel pretty special. I ran into someone I use to work with and after a big hug, he told me what an inspiration my blog has been to him. He went on to talk about a particular blog entry and how he never knew "I felt that way" and how "what I wrote really spoke to him for he no longer felt alone in his journey". I was greatly humbled.

This blog, these entries, are simply my humble offerings, birthed by a whim and a dash of courage for its not easy to be naked, revealing oneself to an audience at large (whew! At least the hate mail has stopped! Lol :-). What this person said to me hit my inner soul hard for that is all I ever wanted this blog to do - help someone along his/her way relate to my journey and for my experiences to be nothing more than a flashlight to guide you through the dark bits every so often while providing a good chuckle along the way (laughing often is the best remedy to any ailment of Life. Get your presciption today!).

I believe in "giving flowers while you're still alive", an old saying my mom recites often. So I want to take this moment and say THANK YOU.

THANK YOU for being apart of my Life
THANK YOU for sharing my journey
THANK YOU for supporting me
And THANK YOU for enjoying my slice of humble offering.

It tasted pretty sweet last night.

~ From Intern to CMO

Follow Your Instincts

2010-01-27T13:59:00.000-08:00

HERE TO THERE

You can get from here to there. In fact, you've already begun the journey.

You can live the life you envision. So fill that vision with sound and color, with texture and rich detail.

Right now, as the result of what you are doing, you are going somewhere. Choose to make it somewhere you truly want to be.

The fulfillment of your dreams may seem to be a long way off. And yet, even in this very moment you can feel the joy of living those dreams.

Get busy and get on your way, for the path stretches out in front of you. Keep yourself inspired and in motion with your vivid imagination of how it will feel to arrive.

You know you can get from here to there, and you know how truly fulfilling it will be. Already, you're making great progress. Just stay out of your own way.

~ Anonymous Source (but you know who you are :)

I was speaking with my old boss the other day - the ex Co-Chairman of EMI North America - and he said something to me that I can not get out of my mind. What he said was "Amani, follow your instincts". Such a simple statement that carries with it the weight of lead.

Many times throughout my career I've had to do exactly that. Follow my instincts. About a new venture. About a new hire. About a career change.

In today's ever-changing professional landscape no matter what industry, what I and so many colleagues of mine are witnessing is, following one's instincts has taken on even more weight than ever before.

All around us, people are feeling confused and sometimes a bit desperate. What I have found is in the midst of confusion, decisions are often made hastily, which we all know only leads you down the wrong path. Sadly I must admit to you that I have been a subject of this behavior a few times. But a constant believer in the redemption powers of one's past transgressions, I find comfort in what the ever-regal Ms. Maya Angelou has said "when you knew better, you did better". I have always tried to live my life, professional and personal, by listening to and being guided by my "instinct" or my Faith. One's instincts is the beautiful voice that speaks to you, instantly calming your anxious heart and mind. But when we are moving to fast, caught up in the madness of life that can consume us, that precious voice gets drowned out by all the "noise" and we miss the message.

Back in 2000 when I was making the decision to leave the nest of Island Def Jam and venture downtown to become a "Virgin", that deal almost didn't happen. I know right? Its like how did I leave out that tidbit of information when I blogged about this journey earlier?!?! LOL! Well yes, friends, it almost didn't happen because in the 25th hour, the deal changed. And I didn't like nor were planning on agreeing to the "new" terms. But what is worth noting is the actual decision to leave was not in question for I was following my gut, my instinct, my Faith. I stood my ground and as the story goes, went over to my new home. The point I am getting at (have I arrived there yet?? Jeez!) is I followed my instinct, no matter how many calls were made to me about going from playing for the Yankees to play for the Pittsburgh Pirates. I knew it was the right decision and it turned out to be in the long run.

Instincts
Gut
Vibe
Faith
Spirit of Discernment

Whatever you choose to call it, doesn't matter. Just follow it! You won't go wrong, I promise you.

~ From Intern to CMO

SIDE BAR: I need a halo

2010-01-22T19:37:00.000-08:00

everywhere i'm looking now
i'm surrounded by your embrace
baby I can see yours
you know you're my saving grace

you're everything i need and more
its written all over your face
baby i can feel your face
pray it wont fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
~ Beyonce

Today I mourn the loss of a friend.

A Friend: I don't usually use that word lightly for referring to someone as a friend actually means something to me. I have a lot of acquaintances, I think we ALL do. But I believe to only have a handful of friends and I cherish them.

Today I overheard several comments from people that knew my friend who passed away and expressed that they felt people don't have the "right" to be sad, cry or mourn this person because they hadn't known this person for a long time.

I sat there listening..stunned in silence.

The loss of a life from this earth happened today. Period. And whether you knew this person for
20 years
2 years
2 days
2 minutes
if he or she impacted your life in ANY way, that is all that matters. We can go through life knowing someone for endless years and a complete stranger can touch your life in a more meaningful way that that "life-long" someone.

My heart is heavy. And I am sorry if this blog is bringing your spirits down for that is not my intention. But this is the real world and my life, like so many others, is often filled with some of the greatest highs and the lowest lows.

This week I have been challenged. Challenged in ways that are brand new for me, new for a 39-soon to be- 40 year old. I just said to my dad the other day "I guess I am really an adult now with these adults challenges". LOL - it seemed much easier back then..the days of begin young, footloose and fancy-free.

But like all curve balls and sucker-punches thrown my way (don't you just hate those sucker-punches! ouch!), I will continue to bob and weave, emerging victoriously! "...attitude on life" right.

Many of you know I love and try everyday to live by this saying "The longer I live, the more I realize the importance of Attitude on Life". My friend was the shining example of this spirit. Challenged by a terrible disease, he radiated love and positivity every single day. Even in the face of hopelessness and despair, he made you feel that everything would be all right. And it usually would be. My spirit was instantly connected to his and he was and will always be my friend.

I just watched the HOPE FOR HAITI telethon, feeling so proud of all my friends that worked so hard on pulling together the million of pieces together to bring to life this massive production for this massive cause. I was deeply moved by Beyonce's stirring performance of her song "Halo".

I need a halo today.
And I know so many others do also
You can be someone's halo.
Frantz...you are mine.

~ From Intern to CMO

LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!

2010-01-18T11:15:00.000-08:00

You about to witness, greatness at it's prime
You should tape this
Matter fact, go 'head, congratulate us
~ Fat Joe's "Everybody Get Up"

Arriving in the middle of the night into the Zhejiang Province of Heng Dien, China we staggered into the hotel, checked in, all dispersed making our way to our various rooms and tucked in for the night.

When I woke up the next morning, I had that eerie feeling of complete displacement. I knew I was still in China, somewhere, but completely unaware of my surroundings and what the day would entail. Stating the obvious, we were here to make a mini-movie. To create our own bit of musical history. But the who, what, where, when and how were still gray for me.

I got dressed, checked my emails, ate one of what would be too many Power Bars and set out to find the crew of misfits.

The hotel was a bit creepy. It was very desolate. I think we were the only ones there to be quite honest as I never saw any other hotel guests. I came to find out that I was actually the only one on my hotel floor. It was all a bit like "The Shining", made even creepier as nightfall came. More on that later.

I stumbled across our makeshift "production office" aka home base and met all the players - the local crew, 1st AD, 2nd AD, our incredibly rogue yet brilliant DP (director of photography) that was pretty much drunk the entire time we were in Heng Dien. I have a soft spot for Creatives as they are truly unique and I consider myself to be one of them. We are often so misunderstood by so many people but there is a "method to the madness", don't doubt that for a second. Just buckle up, let go as much as you can, and enjoy the ride. I also had with me a separate camera crew that was simple there to document every single moment of this journey, raw and uncut. I've been a key member of countless video productions throughout my career. But this proved, by far, to not only be my most memorable but the most ambitious.

After a brief status update meeting, it was time to go to set. We were all quite eager to view this "Chinese Hollywood" and familiarize ourselves with our new home for the next few weeks.

Pulling into the grounds was breathtaking. It wasn't like going to Universal Studios for nothing that we witnessed looked fake. It was literally like stepping back, very far back, into time. I struggle to find the words that can truly express the feeling but sadly must admit to you all, that I simply can't. Its just one of those things that words can not properly illustrate. Perhaps the photo attached can.

Setting up shots, organizing thousands of extras, hundreds of costumes, three different camera crews, the work was endless and the hours were grueling. Each day started at the crack of dawn and ending well into the wee hours of the next morning.

It began to feel like ground hogs day for me. I would crawl into bed and some ungodly hour, fall into a restless sleep as my mind would still be reeling from the day's events, as well as, what needed to happen the following day. Then there was the feeble attempts to stay connected with my team in the office in NYC. The time difference alone was challenging enough coupled with the fact that while the mama cat was away, the mice were having margarita parties. Hey, not a criticism at all, just being a realist.

But every day was awe-inspiring. We knew we were creating something spectacular which made every challenge worth enduring. One challenge was food. What we brought, yes enough food to feed a football team, ran out quickly. We ventured out daily to explore new restaurants, some great, some not so great. I played it a bit safe and stayed mostly with vegetarian dishes. The last thing that I could afford to do was get sick with an upset stomach.

Some weren't so lucky...

~ From Intern to CMO

歡迎光臨上海 (Welcome to Shanghai)

2010-01-17T14:09:00.000-08:00

歡迎光臨上海

(Welcome to Shanghai)

We made it!

After a very long flight and a bit of drool on my face (give me a break! I did stay up all night in order to sleep soundly on the flight!), we land in Shanghai at about 7:00 p.m. Clearing customs was a relatively smooth experience, in spite of the fact that I was carrying about $50,000 in cash on me (a small technicality but apparently a necessary resource to have as a band of bandits we were being). I can not lie, the movie "Brokedown Palace" continued to race through my over-active imagination.

As each flight arrived, we met members of the band, and we finally convened in front of our ground transportation vans and got to making plans:

1. Lee T and Jared would proceed directly to Heng Dien to meet up with the production team.

2. Myself and the rest of the band would spend the night in Shanghai and then make the journey to the location tomorrow morning.

Our plans sounded MUCH better than Jared and Lee's to say the least. After flying for what seemed like endless hours, the last thing I wanted to was travel for 6 more hours into the night to a small, desolate town. A hot shower, amazing Szechuan food, dancing and drinking was a much better ticket in my opinion. Fun times awaits! After checking into the Four Seasons Shanghai Hotel, freshening up, accompanied by our tour production guide (who was as much of a rock star as we thought we were), we hit the town. Dinner. Club-hopping. Dancing. Sake. Towards the wee hours of the night we ended up at some rooftop club, overlooking the Huangpu River. It was a night to remember and one that we kept to ourselves.

The next day, after some serious recuperating, we delayed our journey to Heng Dien a bit longer by sightseeing in the historic area of Wuzhen. The town of Wuzhen has a history dating back more than 1,000 years. Many of the streets and structures have remained the same over the years, and as you spend time in this town you can't help but feel the history. Through the town runs a large canal along with rivers and creeks that have some beautiful and historic bridges spanning them. To see this ancient area, surrounded by newly built sky-scrapers, felt as if you were caught between the present and the past, which I usually find charming - the dichotomy between how both worlds co-exist. What saddens me is how the past continues to be pushed further and further into the "past" due to modern technology.

We spent hours walking along cobblestone streets and building crumbling, all protected by towering walls acting as a barrier from the 21st century. I wandered inside a building that loosely resembled some type of medical office. Turned out to be the local dentist office, but one in desperate need of new equipment, new tools, new paint, new everything. It was quite humbling to witness, as most often travel to foreign lands can be. It made me appreciate what we often take for granted and as much as I despise going to my dentist, my attitude changed after that day.

Recognizing the inner shopaholic in me (its like a beaken of light illuminating from my wallet), I was whisked by some locals through a myriad of tunnels and back roads that lead to locked doors. And behind these locked doors were knock-offs of Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Prada, OH MY! I have to admit, it was all a bit overwhelming yet sadly exciting. But for some reason the words "no thank you" were not the most welcomed or accepted response. Thank goodness one of the band members came to my rescue, pulling me back through the locked doors and into the security of the sunlight and noisy cobblestone streets.

Once we satisfied our sightseeing needs we decided it was time to pack things up and make the drive to Heng Dien. But there was one last stop we needed to make before hitting the road. We needed to get food for the trip. We were warned that the town had limited culinary resources and to be quite honest, surviving off of the overwhelming amount of Power Bars that I had packed became increasingly unappealing. So we stocked up at the local grocery store buying everything from cheeses , deli meat, bread, peanut butter and jelly, various breakfast cereals, juices, milk, crackers, cookies, tuna, enough food to feed a small football team.

Loaded and in the van, we were off! 6 hours later, we would be pulling into Heng Dien in the middle of the night. What the day light would reveal the next morning would surprise us all.

~ From Intern to CMO

Phenomenal Woman to Me

2010-01-09T10:02:00.001-08:00

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I’m telling lies.

I say,

It’s in the reach of my arms,

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.

I say,

It’s the fire in my eyes,

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And the joy in my feet.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can’t touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them,

They say they still can’t see.

I say,

It’s in the arch of my back,

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Now you understand

Just why my head’s not bowed.

I don’t shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.

When you see me passing,

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It’s in the click of my heels,

The bend of my hair,

the palm of my hand,

The need for my care.

’Cause I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Happy Birthday Mom!

SIDE BAR: Where the Road May Lead You

2010-01-09T09:15:00.000-08:00

Every Saturday I eagerly await the delivery of the New York Times Sunday issue. My favorite sections are the Arts, Real Estate and Travel.

In the Travel section to my great pleasure was a front page article entitled "THE 31 PLACES TO GO IN 2010". LOVE! As my eyes skimmed the article I was excited to see a few places that I had already visited and a few that are in my plans for 2010. While I would love to take a year off and visit every single destination listed but work and life inhibits my desire to become a gypsy. Yet my Global Citizenship status will surely be renewed this year by visiting these places in 2010:

1. Marrakesh - This will be the destination for John and I in October 2010 in celebration of our 2nd wedding anniversary. We will be going to the Kasbah Tamadot resort, which is owned by Sir Richard Branson, and located about one hour outside of Marrakesh.

2. Instanbul - as you know, I've been to this magical land before but this year I will be returning with my Sister and friend in tow. On this trip I will be sure to visit the 360 Instanbul - "a stunning bar and resturant that offers 360 degree views of the city's skyline". (www.360instanbul.com). Thanks New York Times for the tip!

3. South Africa - this is a place that so many people have told me is THE place to go visit. It was not on the 2010 list but I think I am going to have to add it in.

New York Times' 31 Places to Visit in 2010 Full List:

Sri Lanka
Patagonia Wine Country
Seoul
Mysore
Copenhagen
Koh Kood
Demascus
Cesme
Antartica
Leipzig
Los Angeles
Shanghai
Mumbai
Minorca
Costa Rica
Marrakesh
Las Vegas
Bahia
Instanbul
Sherzhen
Macadonia
South Africa
Breckenridge
Montenegro
Vancouver
Colombia
Kitzbuhel
Norway
Gargano
Kuala Lumpur
Nepal

Where will the road lead you this year?

~ From Intern to CMO

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2010-01-01T06:59:00.000-08:00

"For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning."

~ T.S. Eliot.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Throw Me A Rope

2009-12-29T13:48:00.000-08:00

I got used to you whispering things to me into the evening
We followed the sun and its colours and left this world
It seems to me that I'm definitely
Hearing the best that I've heard

So throw me a rope to hold me in place
Show me a clock for counting my days down
Cause everything's easier when you're beside me
Come back and find me
Cause I feel alone

And whenever you go it's like holding my breath underwater
I have to admit that I kind of like it when I do
Oh but I've got to be unconditionally
Unafraid of my days without you
~ KT Tunstall's "Throw Me A Rope"

Last night I went to the movies and saw the film "Up In The Air" starring the wonderfully delightful George Clooney. The movie was entertaining and everything everyone told me it was is true. But it struck an interesting chord with me.

There was one scene in particular that stung a bit (sorry for those of you who have not seen it yet).

George Clooney's character, Ryan Bingham, walks into his relatively unlived in apartment, rolling luggage in hand and stopped in the doorway. Ryan is a Road Warrior, basically travels for a living, about 300+ days on the road. To him, his home is not his apartment or even the city the apartment is in. Ryan's home is up in the sky.

It made me think back to my early days when I was traveling non-stop for work. I love to travel, we all know that is a true passion of mine. And for those of you fully up to date on your blog reading, you will remember me saying that I was living a "Rock Star lifestyle". But traveling for work is another beast all within itself. People would ask me if I was lonely. And like I would honestly reply "NO". Because I truly thought I wasn't. I was constantly surrounded by people - mostly strangers - as I hopped on and off of planes, trains and automobiles, just like the character Ryan, who also said he didn't feel alone either.

But the sacrifices I was making at first were subtle. Then BAM! It hits me like a brick to the face. I recall sitting on a plane, I can't even remember where I was going at the time. As soon as the plane took off, I started crying. Crying because I was not going home but to yet another nameless city. Crying because I wanted to go home but dreaded walking into an empty apartment. Crying because of the realization that all the reasons I told myself to keep me going were no longer comforting. Crying because of the realization that I had been lying to myself all this time.

I struggled to write about this. To find the right words to express how I feel. Didn't think it would be hard for I love the role of a storyteller. But not all stories are rainbows and kittens. This time in particular was a long period of my life that I don't regret, but would have modified my course slightly if I had better sense :). But no need to beat oneself up about the past. When you know better, you do better, right?

I sound like a broken record to those who know me too well. BE SURE TO MAKE TIME FOR YOU.
Needless to say, I am a firm believer in maintaining a healthy "professional/personal" balance. While at Capitol/Virgin Records, if I realized a team member hadn't taken a vacation, he/she was called into my office to discuss this "oversight" and plans would be put underway to remedy the situation. Overseeing a team of Creatives, I value their need to find stimulation beyond the boundaries of an office in order to produce brilliant results.

But despite my efforts, I couldn't force some to grab ahold of the rope that was thrown their way...sadly. I recall having many conversations with one team member who was convinced beyond a reasonable doubt, that she was a "better worker" because she "stayed at work all night, worker harder than anyone else". When I strongly suggested that she needs to take some time off, to recharge mentally and physically, she felt she was being reprimanded or punished. Interesting right? Her perception was not reality, sadly. I would be remiss to not point out that she had strong talent and on a good day, she was a solid contributor. But the "not so good" days outweighed her and she continued to spiral emotionally out of control. Eventually, I had to let her go, not because she refused to take time off, that is her choice. But due to her lack of perspective on the bigger picture at hand, and due to many incidents that are not worth going into, she proved to be a challenge to herself and the overall team. I hate to see talented people let go, but again, you can't force someone to grab the rope.

As much as I envy the pleasure of an afternoon aperitif, I realize that we work in the United States, so sitting at an outside cafe in the Marais after work or during a break is not the norm (sigh...). But taking an afternoon coffee break or lunch with a friend every once in a while will not keep you from becoming EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH either.

I remain forever in awe of the Road Warriors that we all know and love. Those who bravely go forth, hopping on and off of planes-trains-and-automobiles. Its a tough life and not for the weary. This I know is true. But I have not turned in my wings and have no plans of being grounded anytime soon. What I do know after many years of endless planes-trains-and-automobiles, it sure is nice to open the door and be greeted with sunshine instead of quiet darkness.

~ From Intern to CMO

A Beautiful Mind

2009-12-28T08:45:00.000-08:00

He's a stranger to some and a vision to none
He can never get enough, get enough of the one
For a fortune, he'd quit but its hard to admit
How it ends and begins on his face is a map of the world
A map of the world, on his face is a map of the world
A map of the world

From yesterday, its coming
From yesterday, the fear
From yesterday, it calls him
But he doesn't wanna read the message here
~ 30 Seconds to Mars' From Yesterday

I remember when I was in college during winter break I went to visit my dad in Chicago. While there we ventured out in the blistering cold to catch a movie. "Raise The Red Latern" was a disturbingly beautiful Chinese movie about a young concubine and her struggle to live within a world she had no choice in. I would never in a million years, at that time, imagined that I would one day be in China or at the actual place where the film was made.

Naturally, I was struggling with the idea of actually getting on plane, flying 7,000 miles to shoot a music video in the People's Republic of China.

The conversation between band and I went a little like this:

BAND: So we're going to China to shoot the next video

ME: Oh you mean Chinatown right?

BAND: No, Amani, China. The People's Republic of China, the Great Wall...

ME: Oh no no no. We can accomplish this easily by shooting in either Chinatown in Seattle of San Francisco. We can even use a studio lot here in L.A.

BAND: No its not the same. We want to be the first U.S. band to shoot in the China.

Eventually it all started to sound like the parents in the Charlie Brown cartoons. Wah-Wa-wa waahahaa-WahWah. Wah.

I was making zero progress in changing the minds of these determined souls, so I half-hearted started making plans. Truth be told, I really didn't think we would make it there. I mean created any music video takes a ton of work. The logistics. The costs involved. The inevitable things that always go wrong. Something ALWAYS goes wrong on a video shoot no matter how buttoned up you are. So factor in the elements that are involved in shooting out of the country, my head is swimming just remembering.

But in true form of making the possible out of the impossible, things slowly started taking shape and as each day passed, we inched closer to actually shooting this in CHINA!! NO!!!!!!!!

The band leader, Jared Leto decided to direct the video himself. He wrote an amazing treatment based on the epic Chinese film "The Last Emperor". Having amazing relationships with Hollywood's best, Jared called in many favors and secured a superb production crew. These guys who signed on normally received hundreds of thousands of dollars for their services. But they signed on for pennies. Everyone believed in this project and wanted to be apart of it.

We also secured a Production team of experts in China. The group proved to be our lifeline 7000 miles away and helped breath much needed life into this project.

Where do we shoot? We can not shoot at any of the landmarks so the Great Wall was out of the question. We found a spot in a small town about 4-5 hours outside of Shanghai in the Zhejiang, Heng Dian Studios lies an exact replica of the sprawling Forbidden City, the vast Emperor Qin's Palace , the last imperial courtyard, old Hong Kong streets and rows of palaces from the Ming (1368-1644) and Qing (1644-1911) dynasties. Its like the Chinese version of Universal Studios and Disneyland combined. At this studio there are 18 sets and life-size replica of Beijing's Forbidden City. AND it was dirt cheap to rent! What luck!!! Is this actually coming together?

Now we needed our paperwork in order. We could just go and say we were tourist and avoid having to petition the government, visas, etc. But a sane one in the group advised us (along with our lawyers) that it would be best to go about this the right way. So we petitioned the Chinese government and became "invited" guests to their country. We were given an official letter and our visas (see photo above). I didn't know at the time how important this letter would become in our journey.

I became a believer also and thank God I did. Because the next two weeks challenged me in ways that would have left me in the fetal position like Claire Danes in the movie "Brokedown Palace". Was I nervous? OF COURSE! But we made all the right moves and planned carefully. It was time to jump and hope our calculations are on point.

As we geared up to leave for China, everyone at Virgin was also in shock and awe that we actually were pulling this off without bankrupting the company (yet :).

My boss was coming with me and gave me some helpful tips the night before our flight:

Stay up as long as you can the night before.
Do not go asleep until we connect in Chicago for Shanghai for when you wake up your body clock will be on Chinese time.
Bring a pillow from your house for the plane. It will help you sleep. TRUST ME on that.

No turning back now. China...here I come!

~ From Intern to CMO

SIDE BAR: My House

2009-12-26T12:42:00.000-08:00

i only want to

be there to kiss you

as you want to be kissed

when you need to be kissed

where i want to kiss you

cause it's my house

and i plan to live in it

i really need to hug you

when i want to hug you

as you like to hug me

does this sound like a silly poem

i mean it's my house

and i want to fry pork chops

and bake sweet potatoes

and call then yams

cause i run the kitchen

and i can stand the heat

i spent all winter in

carpet stores gathering

patches so i could make

a quilt

does this really sound

like a silly poem

i mean i want to keep you

warm

and my windows might be dirty

but it's my house

and if i can't see out sometimes

they can't see in either

english isn't a good language

to express emotions through

mostly i imagine because people

try to speak english instead

of trying to speak through it

i don't know maybe it is

a silly poem

i'm saying it's my house

and i'll make fudge and call

it love and touch my lips

to the chocolate warmth

and smile at old men and call

that a revolution cause what's real

is really real

and i still like men in tight

pants cause everybody has some

thing to give and more

important needs something to take

and this is my house and you make me

happy

so this is your poem

~ Nikki Giovanni's My House

Nikki G is something special. Her book Love Poems is one of my favorite. Discover Nikki Giovanni. Or rediscover her...again.

~ From Intern to CMO

Sing While You're Winning

2009-12-22T07:50:00.000-08:00

"Memory...is the diary that we all carry about with us"
~ Oscar Wilde "The Importance of Being Earnest"

The memory is a funny yet interesting thing. We can choose to remember and block out the not-so-great moments. Maybe its a way for us to protect ourselves, shielding one from the painful moments that are too deep to reopen? Personally, I tend to keep my eyes and mind looking forward towards the future. I acknowledge the past through my memories, but I don't dwell there. Just like I don't tend to go back to an ex-boyfriend or re-hired someone I've let go. I rarely see the point in it. Its not a bitter behavior, its more that I feel the time together has past and it should remain there, in the past.

Though I choose not to dwell in the past, I do acknowledge the benefits of remembering those trying moments in my journey for they keep me grounded, humble and serve as a reminder of where I was and where I don't want to be. There is always something you can learn from these moments, if you allow yourself to be open to it. Its fun to "sing while you are winning", but its always good to step back and take a temperature check; gage where you currently are and yes take a look "back".

Boy oh boy have I had these moments. The trying times when you feel like its just not worth it. The pain that pierces your heart so intensely, made only worst by the smile you have to keep on your "poker" face. My old boss told me that the higher you move up the "ladder of success" the lonelier it gets and the more vicious it can be.

There was a time when a Senior Executive had clear motives to discredit me. We will call this person "Pete". Pete was determined and bold about his efforts. We would be in meetings where Pete would verbally attack me, constantly. No matter what I said, Pete would attack.

I was a bit floored by Pete's behavior. I use to report to Pete for many years, but when I was promoted to a Senior Vice President, Pete was greatly disturbed by it. Pete's reasons are plentiful and unimportant. I could speculate for days about them
Was it because I was African American?
Was it because Pete felt it was undeserved?
Was it because Pete wanted to oversee the department I was now in charge of?
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Whatever Pete's reasons were, it pushed Pete to levels that were grossly inappropriate for someone of his stature within the organization. During these verbal attacks, I would sit across the table from Pete, respond calmly or sometimes not respond at all, never losing the smile on my face. The straw that broke the camel's back was when I received an email from Pete, that was clearly not intended for me to receive. Why do I say that? Because the email was about ME! It was scathing, malicious with the tone of a high-schooler not of a Executive Vice President. I sat there reading it shaking with anger and shock. Keeping your enemies close in business is a tough thing to do, especially when all you want to do is walk away, never to lay eyes on his/her again. Needless to say, my bosses were also greatly disappointed in Pete's behavior and his departure from the company was eminent.

Needless to say, throughout my career, I was not always greeted with smiles and open arms. To this day, I am not always greeted this way. But armed with age and professional maturity, navigating the land minds placed in your way does gets easier. But thinking back to the early days, I made a lot of mistakes. Naturally so.

My mentors were the hardest on me for hindsight is 20/20. They knew too well the journey that laid before me and wanted me to be prepared. No one handed me anything. I had to work hard for every step forward I was able to take.
Fight for respect.
Fight for fairness and equality.
Fight for opportunity.
There were times when I would close the door and cry out loud, screaming to myself "when does it get easier??". Because it had to...one day. Sometimes I feel like I spent too many years fighting. And then doubt creeps in along the way, taunting you with "Is it worth it?".

I could have made things easier for myself. Taken the road that everyone was more "comfortable" with me taking. But that was not my choice. Just think about the many people throughout history that boldly stood up and said "no, I will not allow you to make me into what you want me to be". All the pioneers that didn't take the "high road", but paved their own trail despite the obstacles. These noble people are the ones that made it possible for you and for me to have opportunities and God Bless them for their courage.
I stumbled.
I continue to stumble.
I've fallen.
I continue to fall..sometimes.
I've failed.
I try not to fail again.
I am human.

Life is a journey. I know people say this all the time but its because it is true. And throughout your journey, you will be faced time and time again with choices; those pesky crossroads.
Do I turn right and take the road that looks smooth?
Or do I turn left and take the road filled with potholes and boulders?
Only you can make that decision for each road may not be what it appears to be. Its the journeyman, YOU, that will navigate yourself to success, not the road.

~ From Intern to CMO

La Bonne Vie (the good life)

2009-12-21T09:21:00.000-08:00

Paris
A wonderful city
A place for lovers
Paris
A city to dream wild
Paris
In that river the boats are moving with lovers inside
Watching that beautiful sky above the river
And the moon from that beautiful sky
Is shining in
The river
Paris
A city that never sleeps
Paris
The romance is in the air
Paris
The lovers are feeling the love that are in the air
Paris
That smell of the roses the lovers can smell
Paris
This is the sign that spring is here
Paris
Spring is the most beautiful time of the year
Now that winter has finally gone to sleep
Paris
The lovers welcome spring with open arms
~ Aldo Kraas

I am finally going to do it!

My love of Paris has been a long distance love affair for many years. With countless trips to the City of Lights since the age of 12, you would only assume that I would be completely fluent in the language of français. But hence, this is sadly not the case.

But don't fret mon ami as I plan to master this beautiful language. Oui! One day at a time, one word at a time until the dialect is spilling from my tongue as smoothly and effortlessly as the warm butter that caresses the grooves of my morning wheat toast. D'accord? D'accord.

I may test my new skills on you every once in a while so consider this your early warning.

~ Du Stagiaire à CMO (From Intern to CMO)

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

2009-12-19T11:35:00.000-08:00

Oh the weather outside is frightful

But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!
~ Dean Martin

Today is a perfect day to blog. The weather man predicts up to 16 inches of snow in the area and we are warmly tucked away at home with a roaring fire and the boys running around the house amuck, slightly stir crazy. Ahhh domestic bliss. Ahhh the Holidays.

Picking up where I left off (was that blog dated). We have our orders:
MISSION: LEAVE NO ARTIST BEHIND
TARGET: 30 SECONDS TO MARS
SPECIAL OPS TEAM: A DUNCAN

It was my turn up to bat. And I had to hit a home run. We needed to hit the ground hard and go after the area that will give us the biggest explosion possible. M. T. V.

Now this band had been pretty much ignored, denied, and put in the corner by the programming department. The belief that this was actually a credible band was questioned. Often. And rightfully so. We didn't have any successes to tout. All we had was potential, belief and a movie star lead singer. So the task at hand was to turn around this lack of belief and make everyone, willing and unwilling to listen do exactly that...LISTEN.

But I had to come with the goods. Because MTV had already heard my speech about the band too many times. No one was buying it. But with the company's renewed spirit, ignited by the fire lit by J. Flom and Lee, we could not lose. We would not lose. Because more than just our obligation to the band was at stake. We, as a company, needed to put some major points on the score board.

So back to the goods. We identified the song - "The Kill". And now we needed a killer video (no pun intended). Shot in the mountains of Canada with the famous movie "The Shining" (which starred Jack Nicholson) as the muse, Jared flexed his directorial muscle and delivered "The Kill". "The Kill" was EPIC! . Sheer genius bottled in a 3 minute clip. It was beyond perfect and exactly what I needed to sway programming department and convert them into believers.

I proudly walked the video into the Music Meeting to present the video. I was focused and beyond determined. Not succeeded was simply not an option. Strapping myself to the doors of their offices, refusing to leave and causing a minor protest was not beyond my options. People were impressed, but some were still on the fence. I knew there would be a few hold outs so a proposition was made. Play the video for a week and see how it reacts with your viewers. If it bombs, then you are right and I will go away (sulking quietly for years to come). But if you are wrong, then you need to support this band in a BIG way. Bold proposition? OF COURSE. But I was confident. So confident that I was willing to stake my reputation on it.

What happened?

After one week, the video was in the Top 5 most viewed video on the channel and our sales jumped from less than 2k CDs a week to over 10k CDs! IN ONE WEEK!

Needless to say, we were in business and had the support of the biggest marketing and promotion driver in the industry - the big MTV!

The new dream team at Virgin was making noise. Lots of noise. And people all around were stopping to take notice. Overall we went to sell over 3 Million records worldwide.

This also was the beginning of us making some of the industry's most relevant music short films to date. Next up? CHINA.

~ From Intern to CMO

Early Christmas Present...

2009-12-18T08:32:00.000-08:00

All I want for Christmas
Is my two front teeth,
My two front teeth,
See my two front teeth.
~ Don Gardner

How surprised was I when a friend told me last night that I actually made it on Uptown Magazine's "Hot List" for 2009! On-stands NOW. WOW! YAY!

Have a feeling 2010 is going to be WAY better than 2009! Who's with me!

Cheers to making every day, every minute and every second ROCK!

~ From Intern to CMO

Side Bar: What Makes Me Smile...

2009-12-16T10:59:00.001-08:00

who wouldn't after looking at these two

sigh...

a good cuppa...

sharing a good laugh with friends

my wedding day

sunsets at the beach

london...cheers!

I so want one

springtime in Paris

Laduree macaroons

~ From Intern to CMO

Its Been A Whirlwind...

2009-12-15T12:35:00.000-08:00

It has been a whirlwind of a few past days.

Holiday parties
A deliciously enchanting wedding in Manhattan
More Holiday parties
Kid birthday parties that John and Liam must attend
Enticing food choices
More food
Champagne
Lots of libations
Lack of exercise
in need of extreme exercising
Not enough sleep
Never enough sleep it seems
Oh...
And then there's work.

The Holidays. A wonderful time of year but also a very hectic time. At least I was smart enough to finish my Christmas shopping early. Very early. Yay me!

So what's on the docket? This week is my last week in the office, then I break (yes!) and return like all the other working stiffs on January 4th. But complain me not, as I am blessed to have a job. Let's not forget how tough this past year has been for so many people. It will get better, slowly but surely, as I am a New American and a believer in a New America!

I love a New Year as much as I love the dawn of a new day and for pretty much the same reasons. Its a chance to start again with a renewed sense of optimism. A chance to "do better, be better". I am not into New Year's resolutions because for me, I prefer to not wait an entire year to be resolved to "do better" or "be better". This is a daily desire for me and every day I do not accomplish my goal, tomorrow presents another opportunity. Its pretty exciting when you think of it this way, I think. Eliminates the dread of finality. We aren't dead, yet. So get to living!! LOL!

~ From Intern to CMO

We Danced Til Dawn...

2009-12-13T09:58:00.000-08:00

We danced till dawn

A good wedding is sheer bliss.

The memories can not be dampered, not even by the downpours on this rainy Sunday.

Cheers!

~ From Intern to CMO

SIDE BAR: The Morning After

2009-12-11T10:01:00.000-08:00

Work hard. Play hard.
Party like a Rock Star.
Living life to the fullest.
Just one more time.

Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah.
All sounds great while in the moment until..
THE MORNING AFTER.

Who do I think I am? A 20 year old?? The throbbing in my head screams the painful reminder that I am not that age (OK OK I hear YOU!!!).

But it is the HOLIDAYS. And who doesn't love a Holiday Party?

Donning your glittery ensemble, laughing loudly, eating too much, "celebration with libations: with co-workers and friends.
So.
Much.
FUN!

Until the Morning After...

Cheers! Coffee PLEASE.

~ From Intern to CMO

A Beautiful Lie

2009-12-09T13:39:00.000-08:00

It's a beautiful lie
It's the perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful it makes me
~ 30 Seconds to Mars' "A Beautiful Lie"

Today I am sitting in my office staring at my computer. I have a million and one things that I should be doing but I can not seem to focus. "FOCUS MAN".

Maybe its because I've been battling sickness and this is my first official day back in the office.
Maybe its because this morning I had to fight through hurricane-degree rain storms, with my umbrella flipping inside out, and the hood of my jacket blown off my head countless times making my hair soggy and not so pretty.
Or maybe its because the Holidays are swiftly approaching and I am dreaming about a few days in Rincon, PR hanging out with surfers drinking beers and watching the waves.

Whatever the reasons may or may not be, I am just not in the mood to buckle down and work right now. It happens. Even the most motivated souls need a day to slack off. Or what I like to call it is letting the "Creative mind wander aimlessly in hopes of new discovery of greatness and inspiration.". How do you like that? Pretty good, eh? I think so too.

So where should I resume the story of my journey? As you know (or have read), things have taken a turn and I am back in the saddle again, strapping on my boots and putting back on my jacket in preparation for good times at Virgin. And in all honestly, things were good.

Jason F. proved to live up to his reputation of being a pretty good guy and we had many laughs together. We bonded quickly and I became a part of his inner team. We would devise clever and strategic plans on how to better the company and I was often his right hand during presentations and pitches to clients (ok so am I good cop this time or bad cop?). We feel into a rhythm that was missing in the years prior to his arrival.

Jason brought in another Executive that would ultimately become my boss but also my biggest supporter. To state the obvious, Lee T. was extremely good looking. OK now that we got that out of the way, his other attributes were he was fair, honest (brutally) and no nonsense. He could navigate the most difficult situations successful and was always one step ahead of everyone else. He wanted to win and lead by example. I know this all sounds very impressive, because it is. But its also very true.

So we became a threesome - Me, Lee T and Jason F. One of our projects were to turn around a band that had been on the label for several years but was pretty much treading water. Remember that show My So-Called Life starring Claire Danes and her TV love interest, Jared Leto or Jordan Catalono as his character was called on the show? Jared has a band called 30 Seconds to Mars (he is the lead singer and guitar player of course). Jared is the quintessential musician - a brilliant tormented soul, uber-creative and slightly insane. I loved him from the start! But there were huge challenges facing the band and us. Hollywood Actor playing musician. Yawn. No one cared. No one wanted this band to succeed. The first record left much to be desired but the second offering, aptly titled 30 Seconds to Mars, was worth a second look. It was good. But how do we break the sigma so people will actually give them a shot?

That's where I came into play.

~ From Intern to CMO

SIDE BAR: Hopelessly...Always...Me

2009-12-07T15:03:00.000-08:00

All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And everytime I've always known
That you were there, upon your throne
A lonely queen without her king
I longed for you, my love forever
~ Lenny Kravitz' "Again"

I am a hopeless romantic
This I know is true
I love a good kiss
A strong embrace
A stolen glance from the one I love that makes your heart
hurt with pleasure and excitement
then melt in an exquisite shiver of goosebumps
up and down my spine.

I wait in anticipation of a friend's wedding
For it will remind me of my very own
I know it will
A day that remains vibrant inside my mind's eye

I wait in anticipation of seeing my painfully handsome husband
Dressed in his finest, like a true dandy
Extending his hand to me, for its our song
and we must dance.

I am a hopeless romantic
As silly as this sounds
This statement is true
and who I am.

~ From Intern to CMO

Something Gotta Give

2009-12-06T10:03:00.000-08:00

Can't read my,
Can't read my,
No he can't read my POKER FACE
(She's got me like nobody)
Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my POKER FACE
(She's got me like nobody)
~ Poker Face

And boy did it!

Decisions, decisions. Janet, check. Super Bowl, check. Disaster, without a doubt, check. Not renewing my contract..check square to the 10th degree. I'm ok with this last point. VERY OK.

Then the walls came crumbling down...for the "Virgin" President. After many faux pas, bad judgment calls, and not being able to lead the company in the right direction, that direction being towards...ummm...success, he was let go of his duties. Yes he was fired. Finally. Now you would think that this new development would make me change my decision to leave. Yeah...well...no. I was done. Being a "Virgin" was no longer working for me. I needed to live a more promiscuous life moving forward, to say the least.

The company was all abuzz with concern, excitement, endless rumors about the "future".
Who was going to replace him?
Would there be many changes to the staff?
Is my job safe?
Blah, blah, blah, blah.

I carried on as normal. I truly did not care about the "future" because I was not going to be apart of it. No one knew this yet. I do believe to never revealing your hand or "force yourself out of a job or a paycheck until you have another job and paycheck". So my poker face was locked in place.

The Chairman of EMI brought in someone that would turn out to be very interesting to me at the time, in spite of myself. Jason F. came on board as the new President of Virgin Records. Several friends in the business called me about him, telling me how great he is and that he is "my kind of person". Everyone within the company was clamoring for his attention. Everyone except for me. There was no reason to. I was at peace with my decision.

One day Jason called me and asked me why I haven't reached out to him. It stumped me for a moment as I really didn't think about it. Was I suppose to reach out to him? That was the beginning of the end for me. The end of me wanting to leave the company. Within a week of spending time with Jason, I was renewed. He was everything my friends told me he was, and more. Smart. Engaging. Savvy. Hilarious. Determined. He made the crazy environment of Virgin make sense for me all over again.

I decided it wasn't so bad being a "Virgin" after all.

~ From Intern to CMO

SIDE BAR: THE LIST

2009-12-05T06:14:00.000-08:00

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.

I was watching a preview for a new show on MTV called The Buried Life and it reminded me of a Gen Me version of the movie "The Bucket List" starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. It totally inspired me, as I love to witness anyone doing amazing things and living life to their fullest. The Buried Life also has an amazing humanitarian component to it as every activity they accomplish on their list, they will try to fulfill a dream for someone they come across during their journey. Pass it on. I like that. A lot.

It got me thinking about creating a list of myself of all the things that I would like to do before I leave this earth. Its a work in progress but here is what I have thus far...

Be a contestant on CBS' Amazing Race
Do missionary work in Africa
Bungee jump off a bridge, any bridge
Take a safari through West Africa
Live for a year in Paris
Learn to speak fluent French
Be debt free
Go on a week-long vacation with my parents anywhere they want to go.
Be able to pay for the week-long vacation with my parents
Go to Istanbul with my sister
Take a ride on the Orient Express
Write a book
Learn to surf
Run a marathon
Sing in a choir
Get a MBA
Bike ride through Provence, France
Own a home in Sag Harbor, NY
Open and operate a Bed & Breakfast in Long Island, NY with my husband
Attend culinary school so I can prepare exquisite meals for our guest at the B&B
Become a Big Sister
Be a good Daughter, Sister, Mother and Wife.

Now that I've shared mine with you, its your turn. Send your list to the "ASK AMANI" section at www.frominterntocmo.com. Pass it on.

Just What The Doctor Order

2009-12-04T10:21:00.001-08:00

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down-wown
The medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way
~ Mary Poppins

Today I am home sick. After weeks of dodging the sick bullet from my husband and co-workers, it caught me! DARN!

Being bored to tears as I usually am when I am sick (I am the WORST sick person ever. John and my mom can attest to that), I decided to catch up on my emails and I received one that was so endearing and inspiring to me that I have to share it with you.

Its now been about 2 1/2 months since this blog was born and despite a momentarily lapse of inspiration, its been going great! But as natural as this is, you wonder if you are really reaching anyone. Does anyone care or is anyone really reading my prose (or idle ramblings as I really like to refer to it). Well my questions were answered by someone I haven't heard from in quite some time.

I have to tell you how amazing it is to read your blog. You are still one of my heroes. And your blog proves it more. You always, always, always, dealt with those around you with dignity & with respect. And you dealt with a LOT of BS admirably well. At the time, I wished I could help you with the Janet hell but I was helpless myself.

But I will never, ever forgot when I ventured back in to the building, full of anxiety, and how you greeted me with such excitement and warmth. Reading your blog is getting the chance to hear your stories first hand. I still have Kahlil Gibran on my shelf! So now, I have a Master's in Library & Information Science and am working at UNICEF. It's humbling and challenging and eye-opening all at once.

Also, I am married & our wedding was 2 weeks after yours!

I wish you & your family continued happiness and lots and lots of love.

And continue being amazing and sharing insights!!

Thank you dear reader and friend (you know who you are..xoxo).

This whole project has been about sharing the little I know with you Readers in hopes that someone walks away with a little added pep in his/her step! This is exactly the medicine my body and spirit needed today.

~ From Intern to CMO

A Stand Up Kid

2009-12-03T16:20:00.000-08:00

It won't be long,
Till you see me on the news!
Another soul lost at sea,
Were taking a cruise!
Gasping for air makes the righteous path,
Harder to choose.
Well its either fly or die,
Sink or swim,
Which one shall I choose!?
~ N.E.R.D.'s "Fly or Die"

My eyes peeled open..slowly.
No I wasn't home safely tucked away beneath my warm blanket.
I was still in Houston.
And it wasn't a nightmare.
God, I wish it was.

I pulled myself together and got to the airport.
People were frowning at me. Why?
One lady said it was a horrible thing that happened.
Why are strangers approaching me?
And talking to me rudely about what happened?
Then I realized what I had on. A MTV baseball cap.
Woah.

My first day back at work, I had to sit in a meeting with other Executives to discuss Janet among other things. It was hard for me to face certain people because I was still so bitter over being left to face the firing range alone. When one Sr. Executive acted like it was no big deal and basically told me I need to get over it, that was the final straw for me. I got up and left. And didn't come back to work for the rest of the week.

I eventually returned to work, as hard as it was. I had commitments that I needed to fulfill, one being for my friend Pharrell, and I wasn't going to leasve him in a lurch.

N.E.R.D., Pharrell's group, was coming out with their sophomore release, Fly or Die. I had scheduled an album playback months in advance with MTV's programming team and Pharrell, so he could walk them through the music. Pharrell had called me asking if we should cancel due to the Super Bowl incident and I said "NO WAY". He nor any other Artists on the label should suffer due to something they had nothing to do with. But I would be lying if I thought we would be greeted by an empty room. Be brave. Be bold. Mighty forces please come to my aid.

We walked into a room so packed that people were pouring out of the room. I was completely overwhelmed and so was Pharrell. I remember him saying to the room how happy he was everyone turned up in light of the turmoil they were going through and that it showed him how much they supported me, as an Executive but also as a friend. I was blown away. And very appreciative to say the least. What had happened in Houston could have ruined my career forever and my reputation. But because I was known throughout the years as a stand up person; someone that wouldn't allow the wrong thing to happen if I could, my integrity protected me during this horrible situation. "A stand-up kid"? I'll take that!!

Back at the office, everything was different. I was different. No longer shiny and new. I decided that I could not be with an organization that treated its people like I was treated and wouldn't renew my contract.

Then the walls came crumbling down for someone else.

~From Intern to CMO

Let the Record State....

2009-12-02T11:17:00.000-08:00

"But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
But now its time to go
Curtain;s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But its over now (but its over now)
Go on and take a bow
Oh...."
~ Rihanna

Wait?
What just happened????
Was that?
No. NO WAY!
OMG!
Oh
My
God!
It was!
I have to get back to the green room.

These were the thoughts that flooded my mind. My head was spinning. I thought my eyes were deceiving me.

Mere minutes before I was filled with sheer excitement. Standing in the green room inside the Houston talking with Janet's management, MTV executives. The place was abuzz with excitement. Everyone was planning to watch it from the sidelines but I wanted to watch it from my seats in the stadium. I wanted to view it like a fan. Months and months of working around the clock, preparing for the momentous event was finally here. YEAH!!

Then it happened! WHY? Who on earth thought this was a good idea? Why would Janet do this? I have to get back to the Green Room!

As I ran through the maze of tunnels inside the stadium, I was frantic. But nothing could prepare me for what I saw when I finally burst through the Green Room doors. They were gone. GONE. An entourage of 50+ people were gone. Empty dressing rooms. Its like they were ghosts, never there. Not even a remnants of a hair brush remained. My heart sank. My throat ran dry. I was left ALONE with no answers.

I frantically started calling her Managers. Voice mail. OMG! Called again and again and again to no avail. THIS CAN NOT BE HAPPENING!!

I called my boss and she was initially calm about it. Like it wasn't a big deal. Am I the only one who truly understands what just happened??? In a time where anything and everything seems to be acceptable, at lot of people not just my boss, didn't understand the gravity of what just happened. Yes Madonna, Britney and Christina kissed on MTV, there is semi-nudity on Showtime and HBO, actors even curse on TV, but this was different. This was BROADCAST TV - CBS and there are regulations (hello FCC!).

I had to face the music..ALONE. The President of the company at the time, who was also there at the Super Bowl, refused to come stand by my side and deal with this. I couldn't get in touch with Management.

LET THE RECORD STATE: I had NO idea ANY of this was to happen. Janet had a private rehearsal with Justin the night before that we were not allowed to attend. No one from Management told me about this. Thank God they didn't because I would not have survived what happened next:

I was circled by NFL Executives, like lions approaching their prey, and then they....attacked. The walls came crumbling down and I was left lying helpless underneath the rubble. I finally broke down in tears, it was a nightmare. Thank GOD I truly didn't know anything because
1. I would have sang like a canary, and
2. I would have told my partners at MTV the truth prior to the event. Many of my friends at Viacom got into deep trouble over this and some lost their jobs.

It was all around an awful and unnecessary chain of events and to this very day, I still don't know what was suppose to happen. After calling Management about 200 times, I finally got one of them on the phone and all he said to me was "It was not suppose to happen like that". What does that mean?

Out of the entire event, the one thing that was the hardest to get through was the way certain Executives at the company reacted. You can remember me saying in a previous blog, you don't mind working hard when you have the support of your bosses. It made me think about the time we had to march into Radio City Music Hall and deliver the terrible news about DMX not showing up for the Video Music Awards. We did it as a team. Together. Julie, Lyor and Kevin would never have left me standing alone in that Green Room, taking blows by the NFL. Never.

It changed me and made me look at being a "Virgin" differently.

~ From Intern to CMO

When the walls come crumbling down...

2009-12-01T12:14:00.000-08:00

Light You Up.
Light You Up.
I'm stuck in between what I have, what I want, and what I know ...
The walls come crumbling down.
They crash with out a sound ...
Where do we draw the line.
We move too slow.
~ The Ruse

Two years have past and I was officially a "Virgin"! I was making important in-roads, effecting the bottom line so I could continue to earn my keep and most importantly having a good 'ol time! I was identified as a future Executive of the company by the co-Chairman, David M., so things were looking good and my gamble was paying off!

Virgin Records had a few major Artists on their roster - Lenny Kravitz (adore!), Rolling Stones (icons), and Janet Jackson (Ms. Jackson if you're nasty!). I could not wait to work with each one of them and my opportunity came faster than expected!

MTV was producing the Super Bowl XXXIII half-time show and Janet was confirmed to performing! She, of course, would be the last performer of the night after Kid Rock, Diddy and Nelly, and would be center-stage. They were definitely rolling out the red carpet for Ms. Jackson! The February event was perfect timing-wise (and exposure-wise) since we were in full set-up mode for her 8th studio release, DAMITA JO, which was released March 30, 2004.

Since MTV was producing the show, I was very much involved in every aspect. Janet had two powerhouse managers at the time and her overall team is very organized, to say the least. Every move, every activity is carefully choreographed within an inch of your life. A well-oiled machine indeed that never seems to have a hiccup. Very impressive to watch and be apart of.

The preparations for an event of this magnitude is intense. Every detail has to be handled expertly and micro-managed. I was involved in countless meetings with MTV, management and with my co-workers regarding everything from the budget, to wardrobe, to logistics. Thank goodness I am very detailed-oriented as I would have dropped the ball a few times with all of the moving parts and no fumbles were allowed during this game! I have to attribute this skill to my early years as a Promotions Manager. Moving large entourages on a daily, sometimes hourly basis, makes you pay close attention to the fine print in all you do. Great lesson I learned and a skill that has assisted me to this very day.

Back to the Super Bowl...needless to say, at that time, this would be one of the biggest events I would be apart of.
Viacom
CBS
NFL
Super Bowl
MILLIONS OF EYEBALLS
Huge!

I was thrilled and worked my butt off to help make it great for Janet and all our partners.

Then the walls came crumbling down.

~ From Intern to CMO

SIDE BAR: The Giving of Thanks...

2009-11-29T12:49:00.000-08:00

To be thankful is a lesson most of us are taught at the earliest of age.

"Don't forget your manners", my mother would remind my sister and I, "Always say 'thank you' and 'please'.

Its been a challenging year for some many of my friends and family. Challenging for me as well in so many ways. And for those of us still standing tall, despite the battle wounds of life, its important that we NOT forget our manners.
Not to forget to not take each other for granted. Not to forget to give thanks, not just for the big monumental things, but for the small, casual blessings that come our way quietly.

As I wrap up a fun-filled, and very "full" Thanksgiving weekend (my tummy still hurts), I would be remiss to not take the time to give thanks. To acknowledge YOU for taking the time out of your hectic lives to spend a little time with me for your time is precious and you could be doing so many other things with the 5 extra minutes you may have. So for that and for more than you realize you have given to me...

I thank YOU.

~ From Intern to CMO

40 is the new 30

2009-11-22T14:40:00.000-08:00

Wait till the warm up is underway
Wait till our lips have met
Wait till you see that sunshine day
You ain't seen nothing yet
The best is yet to come, and wont that be fine
The best is yet to come, come the day that your mine
~ Frank Sinatra

I just wrapped working on my boss' 40th Birthday Bash. And what a Bash it was.
Held at NYC's legendary Plaza Hotel, across from Central Park, it was a black tie affair to remember.

Bono and his wife attended.
Oprah's better half, Gayle King, was present.
The incredibly dapper Jay-Z graced us with his presence.
The "birthday boy" had a great time.

For me, it was a whirlwind night, filled with lots of running around, herding media, managing the door (the worst job EVER!!), and all the other beautiful chaos that comes with planning an event on the scale of the Grammy's! All in all, a solid day's work, eh? I guess the Marchesa gown I wore for the evening makes its a little better (LOL!! Pictures posted later!).

As I approach my 40th birthday in... 8 months :), I can't help but think about, not only where I am in my life, but more importantly, where I want to go. My darling husband John teases me about being a "cougar" even though I am ONLY 2 years older than him (give or take a few months). I think its more about his issues with mortality than the actually age difference, but nonetheless, I prefer to be called a puma than a cougar (like Demi Moore mentioned in one of those terrible tabloids I sadly admit to reading), even though its all in fun and games.

I've never really focused on age. I was not one that held myself to a time table. I've listened to girlfriends, over the years, lament about "I am this age and I am not married", or "I have to be married by this age, have 2.5 kids by that age, have the house in the 'burbs by that age". Its endless. And the pressure! WHO NEEDS IT! I've pretty much tried to focused on the important tidbits of life and leave the age factor way on the back burner. Life presents so many obstacles and road blocks that consume so much of our time, navigating skillfully around-and-under-and-to-the-side of these barriers, that I always believed that it more about accomplishing the goal at hand, than doing it by a certain time frame. Nothing in life is suppose to happen a minute before or minute after than its suppose to happen, in my opinion.

I look at both of my parents as an excellent reference. Every time I see them its like time has stood still. They just don't age. I seriously have a difficult time even remembering how old they actually are. When I was in college, someone actually mistaken my dad for my BOYFRIEND! And my mom is often mistaken for my sister. Don't even get me started on my older sister, who literally looks like she is 19-20 years old! Call it good genes or healthy living. Whatever it is, I'll take it! But I do believe a lot of it has to do with their attitudes on life.

"The Longer I Live, the more I realize the Importance of Attitude on Life".

Both my parents have a youthful attitude on life. They are children of God and believe in doing and living a righteous Life. They are naturally curious and two of the most kind-hearted individuals I have ever met. I am truly lucky to know them and to have their unconditional love. I know without a doubt, that my attitude on life has been shaped and molded by both of them. (THANK YOU MOM & BABA!!).

I have done a lot that I am proud of before the age of 40. And I have SO much more to do. And it will all get done, when it gets done. Its the journey right?

So in 8 months, what will change in my life as I bring in the BIG 4-0? Will there be an addition to our family? Will I leave my post and take a much-needed sabbatical? Enroll in the Cordon Bleu Academy to become a Michelin-awarded Chef? Will I do missionary work in foreign lands, helping others do better and be better? I could speculate for hours on end. But what I do know is I'm excited, curious, and confident in knowing that it will be another year filled with growth, personally and professionally, sprinkled with a few good laughs along the way.

See you at the Plaza!

~ From Intern to CMO

Smells Like Teen Spirit

2009-11-11T18:01:00.000-08:00

With the lights off, its less dangerous

Here we are now, entertain us

I feel stupid and contagious

Here we are now, entertain us

YAY

~ Nirvana

It felt like the first day of school.

Jitters. Nervous Excitement. Anticipation.

In a way, new beginnings are like the "first day of school", or at least that is how it is for me.

So walking into my new office building at Virgin Records, meeting my new co--workers for the first time was a day filled with...jitters, nervous excitement and building anticipation.

Everyone was nice. Cordial. Some friendlier than others. But it was SO very different from what I was used to.

At Def Jam the hallways buzzed with energy. Music blaring from offices. People congregating, passionately arguing about this or that. It wasn't out of the ordinary to run into Jay-Z or Redman and Method Man in the hallways.

My new home was VERY different. Dare I say "corporate" for a record label. And very quiet. VERY QUIET.

Nonetheless it was my NEW professional home and I planned on embracing the "newness" and viewing the unknown as friendly!

So I proceeded to settle into my temporary office and get down to business. It was my temporary office because the company was in the process of relocating everyone a few blocks away to 5th Avenue at 20th Street.

And then something happened that I wasn't expecting. THE PHONE DID NOT RING. At my Def Jam, the phone never stopped ringing. We spent endless hours fielding calls for this booking and that taping. "I need Jay-Z". "Can Bon Jovi appear on this show? "Where is this person or that person on this date". We had a HOT roster and in demand Artists. But in those early days at Virgin, no one was calling me to book anyone. I told myself when I accepted the position that this was going to be a challenge; that I was going to be apart of the re-branding of a great record label that lost its way. But telling yourself this, then actually experiencing it is two quite different things.

Regardless of whether or not the phone rang, or whether or not my clients wanted my Artists, I still had a job to do and I was not going to fail. I had to create the demand. Create the interest. So I picked up the phone and got BUSY!

.....

"Well what happened next", you are probably wondering. LOL! I guess you have to wait and read the next entry!

~ From Intern to CMO

Time To Move On...

2009-11-06T08:28:00.000-08:00

Mama just hung her head and said,
Papa was a rolling stone, my son.
Wherever he laid his hat was his home.
(And when he died) All he left us was alone.
Hey, Papa was a rolling stone.
Wherever he laid his hat was his home.
(And when he died) All he left us was alone.
~ The Temptations

Talking about choices and the decisions in life that we all have to make, reminded me of a very hard choice I made back in 2000...

Things were going good. I was still working in Video Promotions, took on the entire roster at Island Def Jam, spreading my wings, having a great time. Things were not perfect, I mean nothing ever truly is perfect, but life was A-OK in my book. So why did I want to leave? WHAT? You heard me right. I was thinking about leaving the company and people that became apart of my extended family. Like I said, things were good, but not perfect. I felt I had reached an invisible ceiling and that it was too soon for this to happen. I mean its not like I was a Vice President or higher. I was still climbing the ladder, and had many many more steps to reach. I felt I deserved to get a promotion. I was doing the work of a V.P. and thought I was putting in the time and proved myself capable. But the promotion was not coming. It was not even being entertained.

What do I do? Do I stay? I was secure at this company. Do I settle? Do I play it safe? The decision was painful, literally. I couldn't sleep. Barely eat. I weighed the pros and the cons over and over and over in my head and I didn't even have a job offer..yet! As fearless as I like to believe I am at times, its not always easy to leave the warmth and familiarity of the nest and venture North (or is it South? Whatever).

But what was undeniable is that the desire to get what I felt I deserved was stronger than staying and playing it "safe". So I discretely started my search, putting it casually out there that I was "looking". And to my great surprise, some fishes took the bait. I was seduced by one company and eventually signed on as the Vice President of Video Promotions and Productions. I don't believe in playing games, especially not when it comes to my career, so when I decided to accept the position with Virgin Records I was planning to resign and not use it as a bartering tool to get what I wanted from IDJ. Why you may ask? Because after much deliberation, I realized that it was simply...time to move forward. Time to fly away from the mother ship and stand on my own. IDJ was a powerhouse with a power house roster. I played a key part in the success of the label. Going to a label that was in despair, but had really cool Artists (Lenny Kravitz, Gorillaz, Ben Harper, KT Tunstall, Rolling Stone, etc.) would give me a chance to make my mark and truly define myself as an Executive. What a huge challenge laid before me. But I was ready.

It was hard telling my bosses I was leaving. Some took it ok and seemed to have a different level of respect for me. Others took it differently and our relationships were tested but eventually mended.

Shortly after I left Island Def Jam, many changes occurred and my old bosses all left to go to a new label. Some people asked me if I knew because my timing was so spot on. I can tell you I didn't know. I just knew what was right for me.

~ From Intern to CMO

CHOICES

2009-11-01T07:00:00.000-08:00

Ohh baby love, my baby love
I need you, oh how I need you
But all you do is treat me bad
Break my heart and leave me sad
Tell me, what did I do wrong
To make you stay away too long
~ Diana Ross

Life is constantly filled with choices.
Some big.
Some small.
But without fail, we will make decisions daily in our lives until the time comes when we leave this world.

For me, I like to believe myself to be more of a "calculated risk-taker". I believe in having Faith, but I am not one that can comfortable close my eyes and JUMP, well not until I've carefully weighted all the pros and cons over...and over...and over..again. I would be lying to you (which I don't want to do) if I said I have NEVER had to JUMP with my eyes partially closed :) and no parachute. I found myself in that very position while working for EMI - more on that in a later blog. But please know it was done with major trepidation, sleepless nights and tears based on fear.

When I was approached by my current employers to join his team, the vetting process turned out to be a long "dance: between him and I. I had some doubts, to be quite honest, and wanted to make sure I viewed the opportunity through clear eyes and with a clear mind. Every new venture you embark upon is accompanied by a level of "risk", unless you have a crystal ball under your bed (and if you do, let me borrow it!).

Now there are those among us more tentative souls that are fearless in their choices and decision-making. A part of me secretly admires then (well not so secretly anymore!). These individuals seem to jump into situations mid-sentence, risking everything to accomplish their goals or make bold choices in their lives. They believe that it will work out and most of the time it does because they have Faith.

So it would seem that these two groups may be different in the way they approach the "means to an end" but the unifier is their belief and Faith in the outcome.

I recently met a lovely young lady that is currently away from her young child due to work. She expressed to me the difficult choices she had to make in order to progress in her career. Afterwards, we both pledged to stay in touch. I recently heard from her and she informed me that she is making a "choice" to move back to where her daughter is living because that is what her spirit needs her to do. I've devoted myself to helping her find her next career move in any way I can. Bold choices need to be supported!

Recently I was sitting in the waiting room at my ob-gyn's office, allowing my mind to wander and think about MY choices. Hmmm...to have a baby or not. Because, as you know by now, I am a calculated risk taker, since getting married a year ago I've thought about whether or not to have a baby. I always knew having children was not something I would be ready to do until "later" in my life because I wanted to be free.

Free to spontaneously jump on a plane for a weekend in Paris.
Free to stay up all night and sleep in all day.
Free to spend a month in London with friends.
Free to consider moving to another country.

I am not saying that being a parent you can't do some of the things I've listed above. But for me, being a parent I wouldn't want to do these things or be away from my baby. Now that the decision is staring me squarely in the eyes, what now? As nurturing as I tend to be to others, I feel I would be a great mom. I mean I had an incredible, dynamic, young-spirited example of my very own Mother (love you Mom!!).

Through marriage I have two step-sons. The stories are hilarious about our blended family. I grew up with one older sister and it was a very different household than mine today (I know understand and appreciate the fact that my dad had his own separate bathroom). Privacy is not what it use to be - "ummmm..RESPECT THE DOOR. I AM USING THE BATHROOM!!!". "UMM ok..that was only a $200 shirt you decided to use as a napkin.". "Again..napkins please, do not use the white sofa for this purpose!". As I loving joke about these things, it was MY choice to marry a man with two small children and I wouldn't change it for anything in this world. John and Liam are my little rays of sunshine and as much as I smile with joy when drop off time rolls around, I find that I miss them the minute they are gone.

Can the world handle a little "Claire Duncan-Coster"? That is a choice I do have to make soon. Maybe I've already made it.

~ From Intern to CMO

Me...Interrupted

2009-10-29T08:03:00.000-07:00

Truth be told
Been too long for my liking
The feeling is bitter and in need of Splenda
Didn't know how much I would miss it
Unintentional absence seeking forgiveness
Not into making excuses
BUT
My recent repetitive flight of planes, train and automobiles
Kept me tired
And sadly uninspired
'Remembering the beginning' is what I reminded myself
Which lead me back to ONE.

HELLO SUNSHINE....WELCOME HOME!

~ From Intern to CMO

There's Always Tomorrow

2009-10-16T11:15:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes I feel so blue inside
So when I'm lonely
I drive to St. Tropez
I leave the world behind that's gray
Into sunshine I know I'll be okay
I say Life is short
Too beautiful for you to worry
Don't give up
When love is unkind
There's always tomorrow"
~ Geri Halliwell

Sometimes I allow my mind to wander and think about the days before emails, personal PDAs, the "Wild Wild West" (aka worldwide web) and widespread cell phones. How did we communicate? I mean we obviously did. Was it better? Were we more effective? Kind of a moot point as I don't think we will ever revert back and forgo our blackberries or iPhones.

Despite the fact that I two blackberries (yeah I'm one of those), I still like to write things down in my notebooks (Symthson to be exact!). My Notes. Addresses. Doodling. Random thoughts. I use to be glued to the hip to my 2-way pager and blackberry. But over the years, I have learned to make it work for me, not control me. I have the ringer on "silent" and will actually put the blackberry in another room when I am home or keep it in my purse while dining with my husband. Sounds so silly but it makes a huge difference in your life.

I keep thinking to myself, when I get emails, what can I really do to effect change at midnight or 1:00 a.m. that can not wait until the morning unless its truly an urgent situation? In this age of "instant gratification" and multiple "911s" that truly are not a 911, we've lost a bit ourselves (and sanity) in the never-ending process. If we aren't available 24/7 to our bosses and co-workers, we allow ourselves to feel guilty. Why? If you have accomplished everything you need to in the course of your 8-10 hour day, then why feel guilty? Despite my fantasies of being "Wonder Woman", I've had to often tell myself, "..lady...there is always tomorrow". Feel good about the greatness you accomplished TODAY. Over the years, I have found peace in knowing that. I hope you can find it too. Peace that is.

~ From Intern to CMO

The Balancing Act

2009-10-12T17:10:00.000-07:00

"And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time

And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes..."
~ Damian Rice

Today is my one year wedding anniversary. Standing in front of our family and dearest friends, exclaiming to each other our deep love and adoration for each other. The sun was setting in front of us and the sky was a gorgeous vanilla color. It was magical. My "elegant black-tie dinner party" is what I like to call my wedding. It was the happiest day of my life, thus far. As I know my life with my Beloved will be filled with many happy days. Today was one of them.

I always knew I would marry later in life (if you can call 38 later in life. Many people do). But honestly for me, it was right on time. I am not one that believes in marrying young. At least not for me. I was a bit selfish and had the right of mind to realize that.
I wanted to travel the world.
I wanted to focus on my career.
I wanted to be carefree and responsible for only myself .

I take being in a relationship seriously. And to be in a healthy relationship, in my opinion, requires a level of self-lessness. At times you have to put aside your wants for the wants of your mate. To go along with what he/she may want instead of always having your way. You have to pick your battles, agreeing to disagree, and not always needing to be "right". In my early twenties and even thirties I really didn't want to sacrifice. Now don't get me wrong, for many years, I wanted a relationship "in theory". The idea of being with someone you can't live without. The idea of being in love. I mean who doesn't want to be "in love". Its a magical, explosive feeling, when its with the right person. I also didn't have the "time" to be in a healthy relationship. But in actuality I didn't make the time to be in a healthy relationship. Work consumed me. The desire to be the best took up all my time. Breaking barriers and fighting battles (in real life and sometimes in my head) filled my days. It takes WORK to be in relationship and to date. Oh God..DATING! Don't even remind me! I was clueless. CLUELESS!

I'll never forget the day I realized, I mean REALLY realized how long it had been since I was on a "date". I know it sounds crazy but you have to remember, I was living a ROCK STAR life. I was jetting all over the world. I was constantly surrounded by interesting people, attending killer parties, gallery openings, the WORKS. I was literally Carrie from Sex and the City, sans all the sex. So I really didn't have time to feel "alone" but I was SO alone.

So back to that moment in time...I was sitting in my apartment on 57th Street in Manhattan, overlooking Central Park. I had a habit of tracing the outline of my lips with my finger whenever I was deep in thought. As I was daydreaming about who knows what, tracing my finger around my lips, I FROZE! It hit me like a ball to the face! POW! I could not remember the last time I was kissed. I mean REALLY kissed.
I thought.
I wracked my brains.
Tortured my memory bank.
NOTHING! NADA! ZIP!
And then I cried.
All the pretending. All the ignoring the elephant in the room didn't work. I was in my mid-thirties, alone and I didn't want to be anymore. Once I dried my tears, I became encouraged because I knew I was ready, really ready to be in a healthy relationship, marriage even. But how do I start? I don't even know how to date. HELP????!?!??!??!?!?

As many great stories of dating hell that I can take you through..I won't. Its too embarrassing. Funny..but embarrassing. But what I will tell you is I started making TIME for me. Marketing myself like I market the Artists I work for. And I know its sounds SO cliche but its really true, I found my husband when I stopped looking for him. HUH? Don't get me wrong, I put out into the elements, the universe that I was ready for a serious relationship. I dated a lot. Kissed many frogs. Like my mother told me, I was making sure that the "taxi light was illuminated because how else would a man know that I was available and approachable?". LOL!

But when I met my husband, I put dating to the side for a minute because I had just became the SVP of Marketing for Virgin/Capitol Records and had a huge undertaking before me (more on that later). Yes, I thought he was HOT (who doesn't love a surfer??) and I proceeded to try and set him up with everyone that I knew ("you are way to cute to be single! Meet my friend...). I was literally about to give away my blessing to all the eager women that adored him. But one day, fate intervened and we went to dinner. We closed the restaurant, talking about anything and everything BUT work. That night, my blinders came off and I was forever changed.

We married a little over a year later. Bliss.

I tell all my friends, co-workers, team members this one thing - MAKE TIME FOR YOU. Its OK to have goals (Lord knows I have many). Its OK to be driven. And its also OK to not work 24/7. As a creative soul, I need my team to be rejuvenated, inspired, excited to come to the office. I don't want them burned out, dragging themselves out of bed unless its because they had a rip-roaring time the night before. Its all about balance. You need to find yours and NOT feel guilty about it. Just remember to make sure you have a net underneath to brace your fall if needed.

~ From Intern to CMO

The Best Of Both Worlds

2009-10-09T10:20:00.000-07:00

"You get the best of both worlds Chillin' out take it slow
Then you rock out the show"
"You get the best of both worlds
Mix it all together and you know that
It's the best of both
You know the best of both worlds"
~ Miley Cyrus

Once again I was the "new kid on the block", which at this point was becoming a familiar place for me. The new face in a room of familiar ones. The only person of color sitting around the conference room table listening to discussions about Bon Jovi, Melissa Ethridge, Sum 41, and Nickelback to name a few.
I listened.
I learned.
I asked questions.
What was unfamiliar slowly became familiar. As each day passed, I gained the trust and confidence of my co-workers. And the Artists. My confidence and belief in myself made others comfortable around me. I mean, "I'm OK, You're OK" right?

As a little one, I lived for several years in South Pasadena, CA (you know where the Rose Bowl parade is held? Well I lived about 5 minutes from the main street where the parade goes through). For many years, we were the only family in our community that looked like "us". My sister and I were the only black girls in the entire elementary school. There was a "park" across the street from where we lived. My sister and I would go over there and play, thinking it was a bit odd that there wasn't any swings or slides at this "park" but as children do, we still had a great time! I mean how lucky we thought we were to live steps away from a great play area. To my mother's dismay, she came over and pulled us from the "park" because it wasn't a "park" but the property of the woman who owned the expansive mansion. Ummm yeah. Yes..my friends.. her grounds were so expansive that my sister and I thought it was an actual public park..sans the slide, swings and all the other accouterments that one normally finds at a public park (ahh.. the little things..who needs them). We had many wonderful years living in South Pasadena and we experienced no racism, believe it or not. We viewed people as PEOPLE, not defined by the color of their skin. This belief instilled in me from as far back as I can remember, has never left me. I am not naive in any way of discrimination, and have unfortunately experienced it many times throughout my life.

We eventually moved from our quaint little town of South Pasadena to Los Angeles proper. I can not tell you the sheer excitement I felt when walking into my third grade classroom at Third Street Elementary School in Hancock Park and saw my teacher! She looked just like ME! It was magical! When my mother picked me up from school later that day, I burst in her arms exclaiming my joy of having a teacher that looked like me! I didn't even know at the time how to describe her. My mom asked me, "how does she look like you? Is it because she is a girl, like you? Is it because she has black hair, like you?". Frustrated with the conversation, like any 9 year old would be, I finally pointed to my hand and said "she looks like me!". My mom later told me that is when she knew she made the right decision to move us to Los Angeles. But it wasn't all rainbows and kittens.

For the first time in my developing life, I realized I am not like other people with the same color of skin that I had.. and I didn't know why. The kids I so desperately wanted to be friends with rejected me. Told me I was an "oreo" (like the cookie - white on the inside and black on the outside), and that I talked "white", which at the time puzzled me more than anything. I thought "how can someone talk like a color?". I cried myself to sleep countless times and only found comfort in what I was familiar with, my white friends. I didn't feel defeated, just really confused. My parents are amazing (I can not say this enough). They were active participants in my upbringing and as painful as it must have been for them to see their girls being tormented by the cruelties of the world, their constant support and encouragement is what gave my sister and I the confidence to not let these events damage us, for "this too shall pass". I eventually broke down the barriers and made lots of friends with girls that looked just like me. I was being educated not just by teachers and books, but on how to adapt and fit in with all different types of people. The "school of hard knocks" was painful but necessary as it helped me be who I am today.

My dad went to work abroad for many years when I was growing up. Saudi Arabia was his adopted home for many years. My mom, sister and I stayed back in the U.S. As much as we missed our dad through those years and the sacrifices he made for his family is unmeasurable, our reunions would take us to unexplored, magical lands. I started going abroad with my family at the age of 12. Paris became my favorite home away from home. London, my stomping grounds. Seeing people, who may look like me, but speak a different language, forever altered my view on the world and that is when I became a GLOBAL CITIZEN. As most of you know, I am obsessed with traveling and I was bitten by that bug as soon as I stepped on foreign grounds. These experiences only made me appreciate even more the difference in people all over the world. Who wants to be the same? How boring! Its like having vanilla ice cream every day of your life. No matter how much you may love vanilla ice cream, don't you crave a little chocolate sprinkles on top? Maybe some chocolate and peanut butter ice cream? Dare I even suggest caramel or whip cream topping? LIVE A LITTLE! You just may like it! Shudder at the thought! LOL!

What I learned throughout my formative years was to be adaptable; to feel comfortable in any surrounding, familiar or not. This is one of the most useful life-tools once can have. The comfort I feel in my own skin has been not only my source of strength, but it has shielded me from the harsh edges that life can protrude in your path, ever so wanting to poke, rip, prod into your delicate skin.

So back to the IDJ days, I was living the best of both worlds, accomplishing goals and experiences I did not have before. I mean isn't that what the journey is all about? For me? ABSOLUTELY!

During that year, I went to Mexico City with Bon Jovi for a taping for VH1, helped spearhead the MTV's Campus Invasion Tour with three rock bands - Sun 41, Saliva and American Hi-Fi - the first time MTV ever did the tour with 3 bands from the SAME label, while managing the Def Jam roster of artists which is more than enough to keep any person running around for years!! I was one busy lady, to say the least, and loving every minute of it. Did I make mistakes? OF COURSE (I am human right? want details - go to www.frominterntocmo.com and ASK AMANI!)! But I tried to never repeat the mistakes again. Every day all we can do is try to be better and move the needle forward. And believe that the dawn of each day is a new opportunity to do something great! All while wearing a huge smile on my face.

~ From Intern to CMO

"The Longer I Live, The More I Realize The Importance of Attitide on Life"

2009-10-03T18:25:00.000-07:00

You can hate me now.. but I won't stop now..
Cause I can't stop now.. you can hate me now..
But I won't stop now.. cause I can't stop now..
You can hate me now.. you can hate me NOWWWW..
~ NAS

I was going to continue writing about my Island Def Jam days, taking you through a few experiences during my tenure there. And I will do just that, but a few people sent me messages at "Ask Amani" that has made me change what I was planning on blogging about today. One person asked me "how do I survive in this business that is filled with so many shady people"? Another person sent me some "hate" mail, trying to defame my career and character. How appropriate when we are talking about "shady people". LOL!

My dear friends, this is not a business for the weak of heart. Its one filled with a few good people but mainly filled with a lot of sad, miserable souls. When I moved to New York back in 1994, I was young and naive. I was all smiles and California sunshine. People did not like me. Why? I'm not sure because no one actually told me why they didn't like me. I always find it so funny that the biggest "haters" in life are often the biggest cowards. I guess it takes a really strong person to have the balls to actually tell someone why they don't like them instead of hiding behind masks or words or emails.

I made a promise to myself many years ago, that some of you may remember from a previous blog, the minute I look at myself in a mirror and no longer like the person I see, is the day I pack up bags and leave this business.

So when someone asks me, how did/do I survive in this sea of sharks, the answer is simple. I have never abandoned my morals and my integrity. I refuse to lie, cheat, steal or hurt anyone to advance my position in life. Like Kevin Liles told me over 10 years ago, "let your work speak for itself", is something that I truly believe in. If you are excellent in what you do, no matter how much someone wants to hate on you, or dislike you, it won't hold water. Because you are great at your job and your works speaks volumes. Achieve excellence in all you do! Be a decent person. Keep your reputation clean. These are the characteristic that will shine through the mud and dispel rumors and lies.

This is real life. Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to support you. That is just the way it is. But I sleep well at night because I know I did not compromise myself. I always tried to do my best within whatever circumstances I've had to deal with. I've often been criticized by my bosses for being too understanding, or too nice, or too honest. OK. Well that is too bad because as much as I wanted to be successful and advance in my career, I had to do it on my terms. My way. And that meant not becoming someone I didn't want to be. As I climbed up the ladder of success, the hate and bullets increased and I suffered many "near misses". Very few people were genuinely happy for me, or others that moved up the ladder of success (to be honest). But I live my life for me. Not for others. If you can't be happy for someone's blessing or good fortune, that is your unfortunate state. I will not absorb or accept someone's negativity.

Its hard to keep dodging those bullets. But I have learned to keep my armor of shield up and around me at all times. My beliefs keep me positive and always looking towards that gorgeous rainbow in the sky. My dad gave me a book many years ago called "I'm OK, You're OK" by Thomas Harris that I recommend you to read. Its the truth and can help you understand the human nature and how to deal with each other..better.

I am a Christian woman. I was raised by a strong mother and a successful father that instilled in me the power of self and the belief that I can accomplish anything I set my mind on. I believe in the good of mankind, no matter how many times man disappoints me. I want to do better. Be better. Give back. And make a small difference in the world.

Call me naive. I rather be naive and happy than a sad, disappointed, lost soul looking for the bad in mankind instead of believing in the rainbow.

~ From Intern to CMO

SIDE BAR: RANDOM THOUGHTS

2009-09-30T03:22:00.000-07:00

Maybe its because its really early in the morning. Or maybe its because I just want to share the things that run through my over-active imagination? Whatever the reason may or may not be, here are my random thoughts at I had between 4:00 a.m. - 6:00 a.m.! ENJOY!

Why is it that people run to the train on the NJ Transit the minute the gate is announced? Its not like the train is going to run out of seats?
Are there bugs on planes?
I am permanently scarred from watching the old 20/20 show on the cleanliness of hotel rooms. It aired years ago but never forgotten. SCARRED!
I want to be a contestant on the Amazing Race. Its absolutely the most AMAZING show on TV which warrants the word AMAZING in its title.
I still love a good peanut butter and jelly sandwich. YUM!
I do not believe that using your blackberry or wireless device interrupts the signal on planes.
I am one of those people who sneaks and uses their blackberry on the plane up until the very last minute because of the reason state above.
I feel sad for people who have no real relationship with their parents. Maybe its because i love mine so much and think they are truly AWESOME people.
Its such a rush to work on a project for some long and finally see it actualized! What a feeling (singing Donna Summers in my head).
For someone that travels all the time, I am a terrible packer. Wonder if there is a class to teach you how to pack properly and efficiently?
I do believe imitation is the highest form of flattery.
I am constantly curious.
I love making up games while on the road or on a boring video shoot. In China with a band I use to work with, I created the game "Backwards Spelling Bee". Try to spell a word backwards. Its awesome the more exhausted you are. Try it.
Do vitamins really work?
I really dislike any type of alarm, ringing, bells. Can't we use flashing lights to alert us of potential danger or notice??
I choose to remember only what I want to remember. Why not? They are my memories.

I am falling into a exhausted stupor and about to board my flight. Would love to hear your random thoughts. I know have some floating around in your head. Release them. Its fun.

~ From Intern to CMO

"You never thought that hip hop would take it this far"

2009-09-27T16:52:00.000-07:00

It's the hard knock life (uh-huh) for us
It's the hard knock life, for us!!
Steada Treated,we get tricked
Steada kisses, we get kicked It's the hard knock life!!
~ Annie

In 1998, Def Jam was on fire! We were having a great time, still working like maniacs (12-16 hour days) and gearing up for 2 of the biggest releases ever - JAY-Z AND DMX!

Jay-Z launched the Hard Knock Life Tour, which was the most successful all HIP-HOP concert to date- sold out 52 city nationwide tour which featured DMX, Ja Rule, Method Man, Redman, Beanie Siegel, and Memphis Bleek.
On December 21st, Multi-Platinum recording artist DMX released his third effort, "...And Then There Was X." The album sold over 700,000 units its first week making it the No. 1 album in the country.
The following week, on December 28th, JAY Z released his fourth CD entitled, "Volume 3...The Life And Times Of S. Carter" landing at the Number 1 slot on the Billboard Charts!

"WORLD DOMINATION", we cheered! Oh we were so full of ourselves, but who wouldn't be? We were the best little label out there. And these two releases saved a lot of jobs which we didn't know at the time...

Seagram's, the spirits company, acquired Universal Music Group to become the Seagram's Universal Music Group. They went on to buy Polygram North America, which had a bevy of labels under its umbrella from Motown to A&M to us - Def Jam. Uncertainty filled the air. Labels were frozen from doing business. Layoffs were bountiful. But Def Jam, the little hip-hop behemoth, remained untouched. We were to become apart of the Universal Music Group, and merged with Island Records becoming the Island Def Jam Music Group. Island Records? The label Chris Blackwell started? Doesn't he own a bunch of hotels in Jamaica or something? YES to it all!

Now why was Def Jam left untouched and came into this new situation with Lyor, Julie and Kevin riding on their white horse? Jay-Z and DMX. With a closing year as big as ours, we silenced the naysayers and proved to many people that we were not to be taken lightly. The logo, something we protected and would have countless meetings about (yes meetings about the logo and the brand were a constant back then. Lyor understood the importance of protecting the brand because the brand would protect you when you weren't that "hot". Get it? If not, ask me later on "ASK AMANI" www.frominterntocmo.com.

This year also proved to be ground-breaking for me as well. I was at a cross-road once again and posed a question to my bosses that no one was prepared to answer. Being exposed to a more diverse roster at Island Def Jam. We now had rock artists, pop artists, as well as our hip-hop and R&B artists. I was still doing Video Promotions and received another promotions to Senior Director of Video Promotions (yeah me!). Things were looking great for the girl from L.A. and I should have been content. But I wasn't. I wanted to know why my counterparts, doing the exact same job that I was, made more money than me? It couldn't be that they did such a superior job than I did. And I wasn't prepared to think it was because of my race. No that could NOT be it! But no one that looked like me at the time, work a genre other than Urban. Hmmmmm. HMMMMMMMM.....

So the uncomfortable question was asked. Uncomfortable for them. Not for me. Why? I wanted to know. And I expected an answer. Ultimately no one was willing to answer it and had no choice but to allow me to expand my reach and work the ENTIRE roster. I need to really illustrate to you how paramount that was at that time. I was the ONLY person of color at the entire label that worked ROCK AND POP Artists. And I believe back then, I was one of maybe three African-Americans working the entire roster at a Major Recording Label. I was apart of a movement. A shift in how people looked at me and others. I was opening doors that had either been ignored and covered in dust or glued shut. I also changed my net worth because I no longer limited my earning potential and effected a larger bottom line. My ROI essentially catapulted and the better I got at delivering and effecting the bottom line, my future was forever changed.

I didn't make this decision because I wanted to work Pop or Rock Artists so badly. I made this decision because I didn't want to be treated differently based on the color of my skin. I also did this because I didn't feel it was right or just that I made less money than someone else doing the EXACT same job! What I have always known is if you do not ask for something, you can't be mad that you didn't receive it. No one is going to give you anything or do the "right thing" solely because its the "right thing" to do. You have to make change happen and control your future, not let your future control you!

I learned the difference between Marketing and Promoting Rock and Pop Artists quickly and absorbed all the information like a super soaker sponge. I was voracious in my desire to succeed and make the people who took a HUGE chance on me against all the hate and negativity, proud and look smart!

~ From Intern to CMO

Time After Time...

2009-09-23T13:11:00.000-07:00

"What radio station is good out here?
Ugh...that station use to be good
Wait! What happened..Tejano music?
This is why I don't listen to the radio anymore
Opps did I say that out loud?"

This the conversation in my head as I am driving down Fairfax Avenue today heading to a meeting in Hollywood. Fairfax..this brings back so many memories.

Me, in my Fairfax High School cheerleading uniform (yes I was captain)
Hanging out at Canter's Deli after school with my friends and boyfriend (yes he was on the Varsity basketball team)
Melrose Avenue
Fairfax was the cool school with a mix of everyone from Conart graffiti artists, amazing high school athletes that went to play in the NBA and the Red Hot Chili Peppers (they graduated before I attended. I am not THAT old!)
Oh yes and pretty good academic (had to put that in there. was beginning to sound like I had too much fun in high school and not enough study time.)

As the memories of my youth flooded my mind as I drove in traffic (where are all these people going at 1p.m.?!?!?!? Go to WORK already!!) to my meeting I felt like I was starring in new version of "Blast to the Past" movie and I was filled with feelings of "what if?".

OK let's play this game! Our first contestant is....AMANI DUNCAN! Come on down and play "WHAT IF?" (audience applauds, mean looks from other contestants who didn't get called - SUCKERS!).
WHAT IF... I didn't move to New York?
WHAT IF... I stayed in L.A. and actually went to Law School?
WHAT IF... I married my college boyfriend? And the most important question of them all...
WHAT IF... I HAD TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN, WOULD I????(dum..dum..dum...DUMMMM)

I find that last question is kind of unfair. I mean how can you really give a subjective answer? When most people are asked this question, it is at a time when we have the advantage of maturity, life experience and hopefully common sense. The answer I give today at 39 years old would be totally different than the answer to the same question at 29 years old. Right?? To be quite frank, I love my life and I would make the same decision again given the chance. I did not always love my life. There were long periods of time where I was grossly unhappy, confused and regretful about this or that. I guess they would call it "growing pains". I am human after all, despite the fact that I have a magic lasso under my bed and my Wonder Woman bracelets in my dresser drawer. We all have periods of trial that will test and challenge us from time to time. Some "time" may be longer than other "times". I have stood at the crossroad so many times it not with worth counting. We all have and if you haven't, my friend, you will many times throughout your life's journey.

I believe that the decision one makes at that time is the decision that was made at that time (that was a mouthful!), regardless if it turned out to be a good or bad decision. Don't be a "Monday morning Quarterback". Have some convictions over your life and the choices you make. If it turns out to be a bad decision. OK, learn from it and try to do better. If it turns out to be a good decision, MAZEL TOV, and still learn from it and continue to make even better decisions. Everything in life happens for a reason. That reason may not be revealed to your instantly but it will be revealed.

I remember when I was interning at Def Jam West there was a position available to be an Executive Assistant. I so wanted that job. I so needed that job. I investigated and found out the hiring Executive was coming to L.A. for business. I contact his assistant at the time and got his flight information. When he proceeded down the escalator towards baggage claim at LAX, there I was holding a sign with his name on it - just like a livery car driver! Clearly he was a bit stunned (to say the least) but went along with it. Let me add, he knew of me but maybe met me a handful of times. I drove him in my little Acura to his business appointment, pitching myself for the job as I weaved in and out of traffic. Now I admit this tactic was a bit balsy to say the least, but hey I am a Marketer right and creativity is my middle name! I didn't get the job and I was devastated. But in true form, that job was NOT the one for me even though it was not revealed to me at that time. Shortly after this incident I did get hired as the Office Manager, as you already know if you are up to date on your blog reading, and the rest is "her"story.

As I wrapped up my meeting and proceeded to drive back down Fairfax Avenue I slowed down as I drove past my old high school. Its nice to remember the past but it is just that, the past. Keep your eyes on the future, my friends, and for me on the road!

~ From Intern to CMO

ASK AMANI @ www.frominterntocmo.com

2009-09-20T18:26:00.000-07:00

Okay folks,

I've decided to interrupt the regularly scheduled program of my professional life and talk to you directly. The love and feedback I've received since launching From Intern to CMO a little over 2 weeks ago has been incredible. INCREDIBLE!

One part of my reasoning to start my blog has been to interact with my audience. To give what I call "friendly" professional advice and "insider trading" tips to anyone seeking it. I've been so very fortunate to have lived through many professional experiences and to have mentors sprinkled along the way that helped shape my future. I sincerely believe in the responsibility of mentoring and helping others reach their own professional and personal life goals. Anyone that has worked with or for me can attest to this.

So I have launched "ASK AMANI" through my website www.frominterntocmo.com. I will answer any and all questions on a daily basis. All replies to your inquiries from me will have the "ASK AMANI" pink envelope icon and a star next to it so you know its from ME! I promise to be sincere and honest (I don't really know how else to be).

So seize the moment and ask away..."ASK AMANI" (that's ME) today! (wow! that sure did sound like an info-merical! Let's hope my advice serves more of a purpose than Oxy Clean. But that's a hard thing to live up to. I do love some Oxy Clean! But I will try :-).

~ From Intern to CMO

The Rush Hour

2009-09-19T19:02:00.000-07:00

Carter: You don't know nothing about no War.
Lee: Everybody knows War. [singing]
Lee : War! Huh! Yeah! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing, sing it again, you all!
Carter: It ain't 'you all', it's "y'all"!
Lee: Yaw.
Carter: Y'all!
Lee: Yaw!
Carter: Man you sound like a Karate movie, y'all!
Lee: Yoll.

If you are up to date on your blog reading you will know that its 1998 and I am now the National Director of Visual Promotions. I had been making my weekly trips down to the BET offices in Washington, DC and I am proud to announce that I was getting well acclimated with the BET team and have a firm handle on my new job duties. FINALLY!

I actually loved doing Video Promotions. Videos back in the '90's were great! Big Budgets. Big Productions. As creative as Hip-Hop Artists at that time would allow themselves to be. And there were tons of video airplay hours. You could turn on BET or MTV at any time of the day or night and catch your favorite music video by the hottest Artists. This was all before You Tube and the power of the Wild Wild West aka the World Wide Web dominated and made watching videos on TV obsolete.

In my opinion, Promotions is all about relationships and the ability to "sell" something to someone. Promotions people have to convince someone else that "this or that" is the "greatest thing since the invention of the refrigerator" and YOU NEED TO BE APART OF It! Its a hard job, make no mistake in thinking otherwise, because you are not the only person selling that shiny new Hoover vacuum to the housewife on the block. Competition is tough and can be ruthless. I've witnessed things in this business that I do not condone. And I made a promise to myself very early on that the day I look at myself in the mirror and no longer like the person I see, is the day I call it quits. So I approach my job with a level of honesty that was not the norm in the business I grew to love. I knew I wouldn't get everything I was asking for, and I didn't mind waiting my turn, despite the disappointment of my bosses. Sometimes you have to take a step backwards or even sideways in order to continue moving forward. What mattered to me was the bottom line, the end result no matter how long it may take. If I didn't get something I was asking for or working towards one week, I stood in confidence that I would get it the next week. And I would!

Having a wild and fanciful imagination, I approach my job from a Marketing angle also, even though at the time I had NO idea that I was incorporating marketing in my job. I would come up with ideas for programming, contests, etc. that I would pitch to my friends at BET. It was exciting and thrilling and there is no better feeling than working so hard on your concept and seeing it actualized. I was having a great time - so much better than my previous job moving Artists from city to city. Things were looking good for this Cali-transplant and my return ticket to Los Angeles became frayed and eventually lost in the matrix.

New Line Cinema was releasing a movie called RUSH HOUR starring Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker. It was predicted to be a huge blockbuster hit and Def Jam secured the soundtrack. Def Jam Artists such as Jay-Z, Foxy Brown, Dru Hill, and Montell Jordan all would have tracks featured on the soundtrack and there were to be several music videos for the project. We needed a partner on the project and decided to bring on BET. My area! YIPPEE! So we came up with this contest and the prize would be $50,000.00! Can you believe that? $50,000.00!!

The contest revolved around the music videos for the soundtrack and trivia questions relating to the videos. It was simple - watch this videos, answer the questions, enter to win. But the promotion around the contest was bar-none. We involved every aspect possible from a record-breaking amount of TV spots running on BET, appearances by soundtrack artists and Chris Tucker, to radio spots running on national stations in major markets, club appearances and grassroots promotions. You could not be anywhere without hearing about this contest. IT WAS MASSIVE! And a ton of work to say the least. But any activation involving this many moving parts has to be a lot of work and dedication.

Rush Hour (the movie) was a major success and became the 7th top grossing film of 1998, with a gross of over $140 million dollars at the U.S. box office. Overall, the BET Rush Hour Contest Promotion ended up being the largest and most successful promotional contest to date for BET and I fell in love. In love with my new job. It was the perfect mix of the two things I discovered I loved - Marketing AND Promotions! "It was finally all making sense", I thought to myself. "I did make the right decision".

I slept peacefully that night. Probably for the first time since setting foot in the Big Apple in 1995.

~ From Intern to CMO

SIDE BAR: Some Of My Favorite Things

2009-09-17T16:24:00.001-07:00

"When the dog bites When the bee stings When I'm feeling sad I simply remember my favorite things And then I don't feel so bad"
~ The Sound of Music

View The Unknown As Friendly

2009-09-15T17:24:00.000-07:00

"Well I think you're crazy
Think you're crazy
Think you're crazy
Just like me"
~ Gnarls Barkley

After three long and intense years of juggling the whereabouts of a roster filled with "young and spirited" entertainers, in 1998, I was given the chance to expand my arms a little wider and explore a new area within the label, Video Promotions. At the time, my bosses were playing with the title for the position and settled on Visual Promotions. Regardless of the title, I immediately wanted and accepted the job (SIGN ME UP!!!). Once again, I was faced with a new challenge and accepted a position that I knew nothing about (isn't that the exciting part??). But it did feel a bit like Groundhog's Day.

Back then labels divided up the video channels and had employees focused only on a specific channel (it is still like this at some labels but very few). In my position, I would be responsible for securing airplay and exposure for our Artists on BET (Black Entertainment Television). The Head of Marketing dealt primarily with MTV. Despite that fact, I still made sure to build relationships at MTV because if you know anything about me by now, you should know I am never 100% satisfied with the hand dealt to me and always thinking about the bigger picture. I need my "unequal fair share" (a quote from Lyor Cohen).

The relationship between BET and Def Jam was not the greatest at that time and my bosses thought some new energy would be the remedy. So go ahead and send the "green" apple into the forest was their plan! And my plan was to make sure I left a trail of bread crumbs along the way so I can find my way back to L.A. if things didn't work out!

Now it was time to talk the talk, and walk the walk. I needed a game plan! I had to figure out a way to get to know my new clients and make them fall madly in love with me! BET was headquartered in Washington, DC back then. Kevin declared to me one day "You need to move to DC!" HUH??? I just moved to NYC..I am not moving again! "Well then you need to go down there every week.", he replied. "Go to BET every single week?? To do WHAT? I don't know anyone. That is just crazy.", I cried. But these strangers at BET thinking I was crazy was my biggest fear.

Knowing I couldn't talk my way out of this one (and I can pretty much talk my way out of anything), I boldly picked up the phone and started to make appointments with the Programming team. Out of courtesy, everyone met with me the first time I went down to DC. It was nice and cordial. Dare I say, it went pretty well.

The following week approached and I was filled with dread. "I was JUST there last week.", I thought. "Who am I going to meet with?".

Sometimes I would go down to the BET offices and meet with no one. Just hang out, talking to anyone that was willing to talk to me. Security. Receptionists. Editors. Programming folks. Talent. Surprisingly, I became apart of the fabric of the company. Most people assumed I was a BET employee. I eventually scored my own desk that was available to me whenever I came to visit. I made good friends, all that are still close to me to this very day. Delta Shuttle became one of my best friends as it carried me safely week after week to the city I came to love (the drive from National Airport into the heart of the city is still one that I love, especially when the Cherry Blossoms are in bloom.).

And once again, Kevin was right. Going down to BET, really observing and understanding the inner workings of the organization, gave me an advantage that my counterparts at other labels lacked. I became a "unofficial" member of the BET team. An extended part of the family. So whatever I needed from them, an add on a video, a booking on a show for one of my Artists, was given special consideration. The same way you save that last piece of pie for your sister or visiting cousin.

~ From Intern To CMO

The MTV Video Music Awards

2009-09-13T18:54:00.000-07:00

The planning
The stressing
The fighting
The arranging
The running around
The complaining over tickets
The label politics over tickets
The many credentials - Press, Red Carpet, Back Stage, Car...

All the love and madness that goes with having your Artists on the Video Music Awards, or any award show to be quite honest.

The VMAs was a big part of my career. I've been involved in and attended every VMA since 1998. And when I say "attend" the VMAs I do not mean...

Getting dressed in a fancy frock
Riding in a limo to the show
Smiling on the Red Carpet
Sitting comfortably in a front row seat as the show took place before my very eyes.

No...my experience was slightly different. It was more like this:

Arriving at the venue early in the day
Running around securing manila envelopes filled with credentials and tickets
Double-checking that everyone has what they need then spending hours haggling over the missing items
Stressing my friends at MTV about "additional" tickets that someone needs
Then running around to actually deliver the tickets to EVERYONE
Rushing back to the venue to meet the Artists for show run thru or rehearsals depending on the day
By this time, I look like a complete disaster...
Then I wait, wait, wait for the Artists to show up to stroll down the Red Carpet
Start fielding calls from Managers, Publicists, my bosses regarding everything from where the car is, what time is the Artist showing up, what is the REAL time the Artist is showing up, someone ripped her dress, someone is missing his sunglasses, stop lying to me - WHAT TIME ARE YOU GETTING INTO THE CAR FOR REAL!!!!!
If the Publicist is not there, guess who gets the honors to walk him/her down the Red Carpet? You won! IT WOULD BE ME! Looking like something the cat mauled in the alley. Fun.

This is just a snapshot of what happens but there is really no way to truly illustrate it properly as no matter how prepared you think you are, you are never ready for the curve balls that are thrown your way at full speed. But it's all apart of the love and madness right??

I have so many VMA stories I could tell you about that its hard to find the right one. Let me think for a minute..... Ah yes, I have a great one for you.

In my opinion, the true testament of the strength of the leaders in an organization is how the company deals with controversy, crisis and their employees.

It was 1999 and I was the National Director of Video Promotions. That year we had two Artists scheduled to perform on the VMAs at the Metropolitan Opera House in NYC- Jay-Z and DMX! Two of the biggest Hip Hop Artists at the time and we were riding a great year as a label. During rehearsals, DMX was a no-show. We were panicked that he would not show up for the actual show (can you even believe!!?!?!?), but after many calls and conversations, we were assured by him that he would be there. Well my friends, during the show's run thru, we found out that Mr. X was not showing up. The reason was unimportant. The man was simply not coming. Woah.

With the show in less than 24 hours, a quick plan was put into place that Jay-Z would extend his set (who can't have enough Jay-Z?? Not me!!!). All was saved and the show was great!

2000...

MTV wanted DMX again for the show that year. Why? I am not quite sure to be honest. Obsessed? Crazy? Not believing he would be a no-show twice in a row? I mean can you blame them? We didn't think either he would be a no-show. Who would be a no-show 2 years in a row? NO ONE right???

So we started the process all over again. Meetings after meetings with Management, Label (hello!), MTV Executives and DMX himself. Promises were made. Commitments solidified. Plans were cemented in concrete (I was off to Home Depot to get my jack-hammer). Nothing, I say NOTHING, could go wrong this time!

Since we live in the times of the WILD WILD WEST - aka the World-Wide Web - you probably already know what happened next. The unthinkable, the impossible happened. It was less than 24 hours before the show and we got word that he wasn't coming to NY to do the show. Yes indeed, he was going to be a NO SHOW...AGAIN! But how do we tell our friends, our partners at MTV. Many people went out on a limb to convince the other Executives to allow him to be on the show.

But here is the testament of the greatness of the company I worked for. No way was I to go face the firing squad alone. We went together to break the terrible news - Kevin L, Julie G and Lyor. But we clearly had to make a pit-stop at the bar inside Rockerfeller Plaza to do a few shots of tequila for courage. Then we marched into Radio City Music Hall holding our offering of humble pie..together. Supporting each other and blocking the blows and bullets being directed to each one of us.

Needless to say, we were ultimately banned from MTV for about 6 months after the VMAs. But something good did come out of the fiasco - Nelly got his performance slot and shined during his performance of "Country Grammer".

And we as a team grew closer. Its easy to not support each other; to turn your back on your team mate when the going gets tough. You don't mind working hard and long hours for a team that believes in and supports you. Like most resilient companies, we recovered and went on to have countless amazing VMA moments.

Some are believers in the individual, but I learned early on to be a believer in the team.

~ From Intern to CMO

Blizzard of '95-'96

2009-09-12T16:11:00.000-07:00

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas
With every Christmas card I write
May your days be merry an bright
And may all your Christmases be white"
~ Bing Crosby

DUDE...WHERE'S MY CAR???

I can not take another night in this hotel. I CAN'T!! Get me out of here. The walls literally felt like they were closing in on me. My once spacious (well as spacious as a New York apartment can be), now was worn down by every day living. Clothes everywhere, work papers overflowing the desk, my trusted suitcase in a constant state of packed and unpacked (I had to be prepared to actually leave New York since I continuously threatened Kevin that I was moving back to L.A.). I needed to move. I wanted to move. Living in a hotel just felt so temporary and I if I was really going to make New York work, I needed some sense of normalcy. A real kitchen perhaps. A meal prepared in my real kitchen. Also the hotel bills were getting kind of....out of control. I mean did they really expect me to have to pay for my meals/room service, dry cleaning, telephone bill (I was missing my mom a lot and had to tell her this...A LOT)?? AS IF! And my waist line was continuing to expand due to all the late night meals and room service. For no other reason than that, I needed to move.

But when do I have the time? I was still the Promotions Manager and had ONYX, EPMD, LL Cool J and a smattering of other Artists on the road. I worked 18-20 hours a day. A day off? Huh? Not a Def Jam. But I did get a day off at the persistence of the CFO (did I mentioned he was sick and tired of paying my hotel bills?? Hmmm..what should I order tonight for dinner??) and found a great apartment in Jersey City at the Dixon Mills Apartments. Cool fun fact: it was the original factory that produced the Dixon Ticonderoga pencils. The #2 yellow pencils we all used while in school!. I was thrilled. It was a great one bedroom apartment, that looked like a New York City loft, with over-sized doors and modern appliances. My first apartment in NYC - well New Jersey. My first New Jersey apartment. I am doing BIG things! I told you this was the place for me. Where all the action took place and I was finally apart of the action, not living it vicariously from 3,000 miles away.

So I moved in and bought a bed. That was pretty much all I put in the apartment. What I was making at the time, my check pretty much covered only the rent and left a modest (very modest) budget for some food, utilities and that's about it. So a bed and and my clothes would have to do for now.
Home.
Sweet.
Home.

My sister's best friend had her old TV and said I can come get it for the apartment. Great! At least I will have something to watch other than the white wall in the apartment. I had a rental car from the move and told him I would drive out to Long Island to pick it up. He persisted that he could bring it to me, probably more than concerned that I would get lost which I didn't. I took down explicit directions and started on my way. Now maybe I was driving a bit slow on the highway, I just wanted to be careful to not get lost. That was a big fear for me at the time. I noticed that the weather was starting to change and get colder and colder. I got to his house maybe 2 hours after I started from Jersey City (yeah it took me a loooong time). I was so afraid to drive in the dark that I didn't even stay - just got the TV and started my journey back to Jersey. I had to make it back before it got too dark or I would definitely get lost.

I made it back to Jersey City just in time. Not only did I make it before it got dark but the weather had greatly turned for the worst and it started to snow..heavily. Safe at home and feeling proud of my day's accomplishments, I went to bed with a smile on my face.

"Areas of more than 30" of snow accumulation across portions of New Jersey"
"New York City Schools closed for the first time since the Blizzard of 1978."
"Mayor Giuliani declared it a State of Emergency."

STATE OF EMERGENCY!!!! Oh. My. Goodness. I don't even have food in my apartment! The next day I needed to venture out and deal with the world outside. Get some food. Water. Necessities. I was not prepared, not even slightly prepared, for what my eyes would see. The streets were blanketed with mounds of snow. You couldn't walk on the sidewalk, people were in the middle of the street trekking about. I had a rental car. I know I had a one, since I drove it the day before. But where is it? WHERE IS THE CAR??? I couldn't take another minute of it all and needed to lie back down for very long time. So I turned back around and went back into my apartment.
Home.
Sweet.
Home.
Right??
Maybe Dominos will deliver? Do they still deliver when its a State of Emergency? Where's the menu?

Building up the courage again to venture outside, I bundled up and stepped out the door. I have to find the car. Its not even mine. This time, there were several people outside looking for their cars also and some were already digging their cars out of the snow. Dig? What? I need to do that too? I don't have a shovel. I did eventually find the car (EUREKA!) and went in and grabbed a broom. I actually tried to dig my car out of the heaping snow with a BROOM! What a sight I must have been! A crew of young kids came to my aid, taking the poor broom from my gloved and tired hands and dug my car out of its snow coffin for $10. Little did they know I would have paid them $100 to do this miracle work for me I was so grateful.

Despite my "big-slap-in-my-face (wake up child!) arrival, I ended up staying in Jersey City until 2000 and loved every minute there.

Home.
Sweet.
Home.
Oh yeah...

~ From Intern to CMO

Can't Knock The Hustle

2009-09-11T12:32:00.000-07:00

"I'm takin' out this time
To give you a piece of my mind (cause you can't knock the hustle)
Who do you think you are?
Baby one day you'll be a star"
~ Jay-Z

With all the buzz circulating this week about one of the greatest Artists in pop culture today, JAY-Z and the release of the Blueprint 3 album, made me think about my time working with him.

I met Jay around 1998 when he and his Roc-A-Fella Records team came to Def Jam. At this time I was working in the Video Promotions department. Oh those were the days - BIG budget music videos, MTV with actual video hours and TRL; BET's Rap City. Good times..very good times. Ahhh...we can only reminiscent. And there was HOV creating great videos - "Big Pimpin", "Hard Knock Life", "IZZO".

Working on the first Blueprint album was by far one of my biggest challenges and accomplishments, mainly because Jay pushed me to think outside of the box - really outside of the box - and develop innovative and creative programming to promote the album. He declared to me one day "I am not doing the shows that exist on the channels today." (HUH??) "I only want to do original programming". (WHAT?!?!?). So I was left to figure it out and dig deep into my marketing center (ohmmmm) and pitch original programming to BET and MTV programming and talent teams. At that time only a few labels were even doing this. Most Artists and Label folks were happy and quite satisfied doing the marquee shows on the channel, BET's 106th & Park and MTV's TRL. Jay was not in any way putting down these shows. But he believed the album was so unique and ground-breaking (which I truly agree) that it deserved the same level of exposure. So I went to work, navigating through the political mine fields at each network.

First up was BET and through countless meetings and brainstorming sessions, we were able to create a great launch platform for the album. The Blueprint was a one hour show that was a mix between Bravo's "Inside the Actor's Studio" and VH1's "Storytellers". The show was such a huge success that BET took the concept and made it apart of their original programming series (hooray for me but where is my check??). It was really only suppose to be a one-off show for Jay to promote what...The Blueprint album. BINGO!

Second up was MTV's Unplugged. I am still so proud of this accomplishment. Even though it was not "original" programming, per say, it was ground-breaking in the fact that, at the time, Jay would be the 2nd solo Hip Hop Artists in 10 years to have his own Unplugged Special (LL Cool J was the first solo Hip Hop Artist in 1990).

MTV was bringing the show back after a long hiatus and there was a ton of buzz and excitement. I was sitting in my boss' office watching MTV. She was sitting across the office with a small group of people having an informal meeting, so no one was really paying me any attention, or so I thought. The commercial for MTV Unplugged came on and it was promoting the latest installment. I think it was with a rock artists or something and I mumbled louder than I thought "Jay should get an Unplugged". Immediately my boss perked up and random comments were exchanged. I walked out of her office, straight into my office and right to my computer. I emailed my friend and Programming Executive at MTV saying "Listening, you can laugh me out of the room but I think Jay needs to have a Unplugged show. This album is brilliant, a brilliant story that needs to be told". She agreed with me and said she would run it up the flagpole and get back to me. WOW...she didn't laugh at me. Great.

Several weeks passed and not a word from my friend. I put the idea out of my head thinking that it must have gotten killed somewhere down the road and hoped she didn't get laughed out of the room.

But this one day, I was with Jay and my cell phone rang. It was my friend at MTV who proudly told me that Jay will be getting a MTV Unplugged for this album! I can not explain the level of pure excitement I felt. What a huge feat! And needless to say, the show was legendary. Jay was backed by the incredible band, The Roots and we had Mary J. Blige come out to perform "Can't Knock The Hustle". Chills! We collaborated with MTV on releasing an album of the show which went on to be one of the best selling albums from the Unplugged series.

Throughout my career, I never was afraid to simply "ask" someone for something. I mean what is the worst thing that can happen? They say "no". No harm, no foul. But at least I know I asked and gave it a great argument if needed. Most of the time I would get the things that I asked for and I never took that for granted. If I didn't get it, I never freaked out (or tried not to) because I knew that I would get it the next time. We all try to have a high batting average but just because you may not hit a home run the first, or even second time, doesn't mean you won't do it on the third try. Its all about your perspective and how you approach any situation in life.

This is a quote by Charles Swindell that someone shared with me years ago and it has become my mantra:

"The longer I live, I realize the importance of attitude on Life"

~ From Intern to CMO

SIDE BAR

2009-09-09T20:17:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day. Why you are probably asking yourself? No, I didn't land a big account. Nor did I devise an earth-shattering Marketing campaign. Today was awesome because I realized I so can be a contestant on ABC's "Dancing With The Stars"!!! No need for me to be a Celebrity. Once they see my moves, that requirement will be thrown right out of the window along with the tap shoes!

Yes people, I do believe I have real talent.

More questions?? Oh..now you would like to know what lead me to this realization? Well my dear friends, I was invited by the fabulous team at Sean John to attend a Salsa class they were holding during lunchtime in the office. Delicious Spanish food was served and we were treated to a 30-minute introductory session. Immediately I realized I should be in the intermediate-level session...yes my skills are that good! After a few missteps..oh I mean a few "miscommunication" with my partners, I was off and running. At one point, the instructor asked me to come to the front of the class and demonstrate a move with him. Uh huh! A move! An under-the-arm-turn -twirl situation! Look at me! Dancing With The Stars here I come. Where do I sign up? Where is my Manager when I need her the most??

Seriously, this Side Bar is all about making time for YOU. Times are challenging and sometimes you feel like you are either treading water or sinking quickly in the sand. A small reprieve from the daily grind is not only needed from time to time, but in my opinion, should be a requirement at all work places!
Take a walk.
Have dinner with friends and family.
Go see a movie.
Check out the latest art exhibit.
Take a class.
Jog around the block.
Or like me...walog (walk/jog).
You will return to work with a renewed spirit and a clear mind.

A little bit of salsa is all you need. Or exactly what I needed today.

~From Intern to CMO

New Residence: Loews Hotel @ 51st & Lexington

2009-09-08T15:13:00.000-07:00

It's getting heavy

But I'm ready

To take on this world

and rock steady

So come on, bring it on....

~ Lenny Kravitz

I checked into the Loews Hotel and started to make myself at home. This was going to be my new home..for now. Not sure how long. "Can't be for too long.", I hoped.

Moving to a new city, I thought I was prepared even with the quick turnaround of "you have the job but need you here on Monday". I was SO not ready in many ways. For starters I did not have any of the right clothes. I am not talking fashion but just the basics. I didn't have the right coat, proper scarf and gloves, boots, snow shoes, nada. So I had to make a run to Broadway and stock up on the right gear that would keep me from dying a sad and miserable death of frost-bite or hypothermia in the streets of NYC (can someone not stranded in Antarctica die of frost-bite? Let me use Wikipedia and get back to you).

Next up was the fact that I knew NO ONE but Kevin and he was super busy helping run Def Jam. One day sitting in my room at the hotel, I had a random thought - que the violins please - that if I got ran over by a cab in the streets, no one would claim me. I would just lie there, bleeding and suffering, eventually dying of frost-bite. Yeah I was feeling pretty "alone" during those first few months.

And then there was the New York culture that I had to get accustomed too. I mean we all know how warm and fuzzy true New Yorkers can be (and I say this with tons of affection as I consider myself to be a New Yorker now. Its allowed right? I mean 16 years here has to give me some official residency status, no?).

My first few days at work were a bit tough to say the least. The culture at Def Jam and New York was so foreign to me. It was hard understanding the "abruptness" of the New Yorker. No one took time to "chat" and every conversation was this sort of short-hand that was as foreign to my ears as Mandarin Chinese. Here I was all bright-eyed, walking everywhere with this huge smile on my face. Can you imagine?? I must have looked crazy to everyone I came across.

Def Jam was a small yet powerhouse of a company. It was filled with young and talented people. It was a family and I was the long lost sister that they claimed and brought back to rejoin the family in New York. I was viewed with suspicion and skepticism, which only added to my feelings of loneliness and my weekly tirades to Kevin (remember "you people are crazy! I am going back to L.A. never to return! EVER!).

But I was determined and had to remind myself that this is what I asked for so I had a lot to prove to the nay-sayers, my family and mostly to myself. I was playing in the minor leagues before and now I was drafted to the majors. Don't strike out kid (and this is coming from someone who what? Doesn't like baseball).

So I dug deep within my spirit and got to work. I figured out how to get to the office every day, in a taxi (I know! A taxi! I was making like $2 and refused to take the subway to work), spent days (OK months really) figuring out how to do my actual job, went home (back to my room at the Lowes Hotel) at the wee hours of the night/morning every day, and ate room service (I gained like 20 pounds in 3 months! The Freshman 20..again! Man...). But what really tested my will to continue more than any other obstacle was I got sick constantly during that first year. When I got here, it was FREEZING in October - or at least it was freezing to me. Remember I came from 80 degree weather to the low 50's. That was cold to my thin California blood. So I had everything from the common cold, the flu, strep throat, and bronchitis. I so missed my Mom more than anything during those times. Nothing nurses you back to health than some good 'ol TLC from your Mom. NOTHING!

But I believe that "slow and steady always wins the race", so I took my time, navigating through the social mine fields and slowly made headway with my co-workers.

My job of Promotions Manager was really more of an in-house travel agent. I was responsible for securing all the travel plans for the Artists' Promotional tours (that is when they go from city to city and visit radio, retail stores, meet & greets, etc.). It was quite a feat for someone who never did the job before and for a roster of hip hop Artists (I'll never forget the time when Method Man called me from the airplane screaming about his seat. Classic.). Flights were never made.

Hotel bills were ran up. Cars never arrived on time. It was non-stop madness. I would be juggling 10 Artists at one time, all in different cities, with large entourages and large problems. I have much respect for anyone doing this job today. You are a Saint and a Psychologist all in one and I bow down in difference to you!

But what this job did for me was it taught me how to multi-task. How to micro-manage while macro-managing. I learned to pay attention to the smallest detail for at the end of the day, thousands of dollars could be lost or saved by my due diligence. I stayed in that position for about 3 years which is incredible because I worked 24 hours/7 days a week. I never slept for someone was always flying and driving somewhere. Many personal sacrifices were made along the way but great accomplishments require great sacrifices. But if I had to go back in time and do it again, I would without hesitation.

Sometimes you may not understand why you are doing what you are doing. And sometimes you have to take a few steps backwards in order to move forward. It may not make perfect sense at the time but that is the beauty of it all. All you really need is determination and faith. The belief that you are constantly moving in the right direction towards your goal, whatever it may be. I was not 100% sure at the time that I moved to New York what laid ahead of me or even if I really wanted to be in the "music business". But what I did know is I was on the right path and I wanted to continue to be voracious in learning all that I could learn from some of the best in the business.

~ From Intern to CMO

SIDE BAR

2009-09-07T08:42:00.000-07:00

bounce...

bounce.

Concentrate.

See where you want the ball to land in your mind's eye.

bounce.

As I slowly threw the ball high in the air, I envisioned my racket coming down with a mighty force, propelling the green Penn tennis ball forcefully over the net towards the base line.

AND...

ACE!

Point to Duncan!

Sweet.

I thought I was SOOOO good! A 12 year old version of Althea Gibson. A female Arthur Ashe. My childhood nights were filled with fanciful dreams of going pro. I loved everything about the game and still do, especially the adorable tennis outfits (LOVE!).

One day during my weekly practice sessions, my instructor thought it would be a good idea if I played a "friendly" game with another student, who turned out to be a 7 year old kid. 7 YEARS OLD!!! "Is he serious", I thought to myself. I mean I am practically a pro player. P.R.O. But for kicks and giggles, I decided to indulge my instructor and the little guy (so very big of me right?? Yeah I thought so too!) and hit a few balls with him. I am a good sport after all. I mean isn't that what the game is built on. Good Sportsmanship?

The kid slaughtered me. Ran me around the court like I was chasing a million dollars. DONE. OVER. Quickest game I had played at that time. I was SO embarrassed. And Humbled. Well as humbled as any 12 year old can be, which is exactly what I needed . I was born again and recommitted myself and my attitude towards the game. I became better in every way, not just with my game, but in school, with my family and friends and to myself. A little humble pie tastes bitter at first, but eventually becomes your favorite meal.

Yesterday I watched Venus Williams at the U.S. Open against Kim Clijsters. I paced and screamed at the television with every missed shot by Venus. I tormented my husband, John, with rhetorical questions about the match. She lost the game and is out of the tournament, which sent me into an even crazier frenzy, if that was even possible (OK according to John it was possible. Is he trying to love me with with the truth? Where is that manual, "What NOT To Say To Your Wife"? because CLEARLY he needs to re-read it immediately!).

With the U.S. Open and baseball season in full swing, and football season kicking off next week, I am reminded of one of my favorite books - Peak Performance, Inspirational Business Lessons from the World's Top Sports Organizations. I know. I KNOW what you are thinking. Is she serious?? Favorite Book? Believe me, at that time, it surprised the heck out of me too!

Let me take you back a few years...

In 2000, I was working at Virgin Records as the Vice President of Video Promotions & Productions. During my eight year tenure with the company, I would attend various Executive Training courses and workshops (I was identified as a future Senior Executive so I would attend a slew of workshops and courses sponsored by EMI, the parent company - more on that later).

I was invited to a seminar where one of the requirements was to read this book. The Authors/Professors were leading the program and we needed to be prepared. When I received the book and read the title, it immediately was placed in a dark corner of my office and I proceeded to forget about it. I mean honestly, did I really want to read a book about sports organizations? NOT! I don't even like baseball. Well that is not entirely true. I like baseball GAMES, where everyone is loud and rowdy, drinking cheap beer and munching on hot dogs and peanuts. I do enjoy a good WAVE experience. Now that is fun! But other than that, I don't like baseball.

As the weeks passed and the seminar date neared, I realized that the other attendees all had read the book (those freaking goodie- two shoes! off with their heads!). "OK so maybe I should read the book", I thought. I can't misrepresent myself or my people - hell I was the only African American person, let alone woman, identified to be a future Senior Executive in the company. And as much as I do love being the rogue from time to time, I stepped up to the challenge, dedicating a weekend to "prepare" and commit to reading this "riveting" body of work. Sigh...

I couldn't put it down. Literally.

In order for this team of Professors who authored the book to develop the Peak Performance Organization (PPO) Theory, they had to gain entrance to some of the biggest and most successful sports organizations in the world, such as the Chicago Bulls, U.S. Soccer Federation, San Francisco 49ers, and observe their inner workings. This in and of itself was a mighty accomplishment. To let strangers, British Professors, lurk around the inner sanctum to see all your dirty laundry exposed. Pretty brave I must say. And pretty awesome.

"Business can learn a lot from sustained excellence in sports. Great players come and go but excellence rests on building a 'peak performance organization' that in its totality is more powerful than any player", said one of the authors. What a powerful statement that is. And a true one. As a developing Manager at that time, this book and the PPO Theory taught me core components and techniques that I use in my professional life to this very day.

What a perfect day today is to add another book to your reading library. Go to your local Barnes and Nobles today and grab your copy. Its a perfect beach read or even a lazy park-day read. Trust me. It will change your perspective and make you a better business person in ways you didn't even realize.

~From Intern to CMO

WELCOME TO NEW YORK CITY!!!

2009-09-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Mr. Cab Driver won't you stop to let me in

Mr. Cab Driver don't you like my kind of skin

Mr. Cab Driver you're never gonna win"

~Lenny Kravitz

WELCOME TO NEW YORK CITY!

Bewildered and bleary-eyed, I made my way off the red eye flight from Los Angeles on a cold October morning in 1995 to be greeted by what seemed like MILLIONS of people pushing-pulling-yelling-rushing in- rushing out of JFK Airport.

"What did I just do?" I thought. This is so NOT L.A. for sure, all shiny and glossy with smiling faces moving at a slow, yet methodically calming pace. Where is everyone rushing to? Should I be rushing to somewhere also? The little white rabbit from Alice and Wonderland chimed in my tired head "I'm late, I'm late, I'm late for an important date!".

I'm not in Kansas anymore Dorothy....sigh.

I came to New York like so many others, for an opportunity. After 3 months of interning and working at Def Jam West, Kevin offered me a position as the new Promotions Manager! WOW - the PROMOTIONS MANAGER!!!! Ok but what does a Promotions Manager do? Guess I should have asked that before accepting the job. Oh well, never mind the small details. This is a rare opportunity I told myself. An opportunity like this one does not come along often so how could I NOT take it? I'll figure the actual "work" part out later. But there was a catch (isn't there always a catch??). Kevin told me Friday afternoon the great news and said I had to be in New York Monday morning. WOAH. Woah. So as you probably guessed by now, without hesitation, I accepted the position, rushed home, started packing my belongings, told me mom and dad the news (who remained in shock for many years after...sorry Mom), and left my home of 23 years. Just left! Things were happening!

SIDE BAR:

Let me add this one part...

Yes, I was offered a great opportunity.

Yes, I had interned for several months, always being the first one in the office and the last one to leave for the day.

They did offer me the Office Manage position after my 3rd month of interning. Office Manager for an office of 4 people. Whatever! It was a foot in the door. An official foot in the door. And I was able to temporarily get my parents off my back because I now was actually earning money.

But after a few weeks of being the Office Manager, I decided that I needed to be in New York. At the MAIN Def Jam offices where all the action took place. I started calling Kevin.

Every.

Single.

Day.

Informing him of this fact that was really only a fact to me. He took my call the first time. Maybe even the second time. Then I was left to chat it up with his assistant.

Every.

Single.

Day.

Without fail. I called.

And called.

Repeating my undying wish "I need to be in NYC" to honestly anyone that was willing to listen.

So my friends, this SIDE BAR is all about being careful what you ask for and more importantly be prepared for when it happens!

~ Back to the previously scheduled program...

I held onto my return ticket back to L.A. for many months after arriving to N.Y., threatening Kevin, ever so often, with cries of going back to L.A. never to return...EVER!! "You people are craaaazy! I'm going back to L.A.", I often said during those early months. But I eventually relinquished and took the bite of out the shiny red apple. A beautiful slumber did not ensue. I became infected with the life of the city, the culture, the people. And the Big Apple, with all the rushing, craziness and energy lovingly became my adopted home.

"But what happened after you left the airport that cold October morning?", you are probably asking yourself. Well my friend, go grab your morning latte, or your evening glass of merlot, tuck into a comfy chair and settle in. This is my story and if does anything for you - inspire, cause you to laugh out loud, secretly mock me, or even relate to a situation or two - then I've done my job here.

TAXI!!!!!!!

~ From Intern to CMO

SIDE BAR

2009-09-05T06:48:00.000-07:00

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have been blessed with the opportunity to be able to travel abroad since the age of 12. My dear dad, who we call Baba, worked in the Middle East for many years when I was growing up and that sacrifice provided my family with many opportunities, one of them being the ability to spend glorious summers experiencing the culture, people, history of countries far away from my own. I learned at a young age to appreciate the differences in people and recognize that we truly are not that different. The love of exploration of foreign lands has never left me and I consider myself to be a Global Citizen.

My most recent journey took me to Istanbul, Turkey. I there to visit my friend, LK, and I only would be there for 3 days. So I had to prepare and make sure I maximized every second I would be in this interesting land. I was also traveling alone so that in and of itself requires a different level of preparation (more on that later). So I purchased a Frommer's book on Istanbul and prowled the website for all the key places I HAD to visit while I was there. During the 12 hour flight from NYC to Istanbul, I was still doing my research and a gentleman sitting next to me struck up a conversation. Turned out he was a businessman that frequented Istanbul often and he totally revised my itinerary! It also turned out that his wife was one of the designers of the amazing fashion house LUCA LUCA and hooked me up with tickets to the show back in NYC during Fashion Week! So random yet so delicious!!!!

Upon landing, I called my hotel and told the concierge I needed the best tour guide they had because with only 3 days, I had to hit the ground running and wanted to explore in the most efficient way. An hour later, I met up with Safi, my tour guide. Safi was a lovely older gentleman with an endearing face and a wealth of knowledge and funny stories. I knew I was in the right hands for his name is the same name of my older sister, Safi! Kismet, eh? After a brief hand shake we were off! Image #7 is the gorgeous view of the Bosphorus from my hotel.

Istanbul is a glorious mixture of old and new. Muslim and Christian. Hip and Conservative. The people are beautiful and unique. Humble and gracious. I was immediately smitten.

On my 2nd day, I woke up to a slew of messages from my dad and my husband. After listening to the first message from both, I was immediately alarmed. There was a bombing in the city - literally down the block from where I was staying. I was paralyzed with fear. I called down to the concierge (who has become my adopted friend at this point) and asked him what was going on. In a very calm and eerily soothing voice, he proceeded to recount the events that transpired in the wee hours of the night. I immediately told him I had to cancel my tour guide today and would stay around the hotel. He said he understood my concerns and decision but didn't leave it at that. He continued talking to me, telling me in so many words, that if I altered my day's events, I was helping terrorism succeed. That yes it was a terrible occurrence, but that can not and should not paralyze you. I believed him and accepted his point of view as correct. I mean I am a Global Citizen after all! I hung up, thanking him for his advice, and called my dad and husband. I told them that I am a Global Citizen (I can still hear my husband yelling at me. And my dad's silence which is louder than yells) and that I would not let terrorism prevent me from living my life! I met up with Safi and we boldly entered the streets of Istanbul and had an amazing time. I went to the Grand Bazaar and purchased an amazing Turkish rug and an amazing piece of Turkish pottery (image #2, #3 and #5). I stopped at the Blue Mosque (image #6) and marveled at the architecture. I ate fallafel and played with an adorable little girl at the eatery. Then went underground to explore the Cistern (image #4). I strolled Hagia Sophia and trolled the grounds of the Topkapi Palace (image #1), allowing my mind to wonder to the days when the Ottoman Empire ruled.

I left Istanbul vowing to return again.

My friends, do not let obstacles prevent you for exploring what life has to offer. Travel is not just for the privileged or the rich. I have traveled to Europe for a month with a backpack and a few hundred dollars.

Do the research and find affordable options. There are great budget books out there, like the Frommer's travel books, that will present to you many affordable options in the city that you plan to visit.

Utilize the various transportation outlets in each city. For example, it is usually cheaper to fly into London Heathrow Airport when going to Europe. Once there, use the train system (the Euro Rail) to go to city to city. Its only a 2 hour trip from London to Paris and the ride is great! You'll have the chance to see the beautiful countryside and the train deposits you right at Nord Station in Paris!

Another option is to use London's Stansted Airport as a hub to catch inexpensive flights to Italy (I scored a flight to Pisa for $30 USD!!). Its a bit outside of Central London (think Manhattan to JFK during rush hour) but worth the savings!

Now get going and start planning your next adventure. Happy travels!

~ From Intern to CMO

Are You Gonna Go My Way?

2009-09-04T18:00:00.000-07:00

"But what I really want to know is

Are you gonna go my way?

And I got to know"

~ Lenny Kravitz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_dnWWnKCTk

A lot has happened this past year. No I am not preparing my New Year's resolution 3 months early. Nor am I rushing the hand of time.

But a lot HAS happened this year. Let's see...

I turned 39 two months ago (and I am so proud of that!)
I got married almost a year ago to a fantastic (and slightly younger) man that I met at work...SHOCKER!

SIDE BAR: Is it a bad thing that I told my husband I want to get married again?? I did eventually tell him that it would be to him again of course! But I so loved my wedding. And I love wedding cake even more - shout out to Sylvia Weinstock!

OK back to this year's events...

I moved from Williamsburg, Brooklyn - "where's Brooklyn at, where's Brooklyn at.." - to the suburb (how do I miss Brooklyn Cheese Shop)
I lovingly inherited two boys - my step-sons ("Respect the door" is my new household mantra - more on that later)
AND I started a new job, CMO at Bad Boy Worldwide Entertainment Group and Blue Flame Agency

Do you agree with me? A lot HAS happened this past year.

With all this stew simmering happily in my crock-pot of life has lead me to this point. The creation of my blog - FROM INTERN TO CMO. I have something to say, gosh darn-it! I mean doesn't everyone that has a blog feel they have something to say? I do have a story to tell that may, just may, provide inspiration, motivation, humor, the filling of some bored hours at work, to someone out there in this vast world of ours. Or maybe this is simply an exhibitionist outlet for me to be able to take the voices in my cluttered head and give them their own stage to perform (and those close to me know only too well how I love a dramatic reading. And...Scene. Fade to Black. POWDER PLEASE!!!!).

But like my friend and one of the greatest recording Artists out there today, Lenny Kravitz, sang It Ain't Over Til Its Over, I'm far from packing my suitcase, tucking my chapeau under my arm and heading off to find OZ.

Whatever it may or may not be for you or for me, I am jumping in feet first, throwing caution to the wind and hope to have some fun along the way. Who's with me? I know you want to be. Come on...jump in with your clothes on. No one is looking and I won't tell a soul. And if they are looking, who cares? I promise to pretend that I still don't know you!

So "are you gonna go my way? Cause baby I got to know. Yeah!"

~ From Intern to CMO

A walk down memory lane...

2009-09-03T16:46:00.000-07:00

Reading about the departure of Kevin Liles from his post of EVP at the Warner Music Group has me in a reflective state of mind. Let me take you back.....

Its 1994 and I'm fresh out of college in Los Angeles, armed with my B.A. in Political Science. Law School here I come! Woo-hoo! Ummmm...maybe not. So in my attempts in being "bold so the mighty forces will come to my aid", I abruptly decided that I will NOT be entering Law School and I am going to work in the Music Business. "YES MOM & DAD - I AM GOING TO WORK IN THE MUSIC BUSINESS" I declared! I can still here the yells from my mom and the exhausted sighs from my dad.

"Music is my passion", I proudly told myself. But where do I start? Ahh yes, I need to actually try and land a job at a real record label. But which one? And what would I do? Where do I start? Am I crazy? Yes I was but that was actually the awesome part about the whole thing. I was a bit crazy and fearless.

So armed with this new direction for my life and career, the next morning, I picked up the yellow pages (yes the YELLOW PAGES PEOPLE) and looked up Def Jam West. I mean what better label to be at?? I love Redman and Method Man...and LL Cool J and Russell Simmons. Yes, that is where I should be! Without a moment hesitation (remember people I was fearless to a fault), I called the only number listed...waited...ring...ring...mentally rehearsing my speech in my head - 'I am recent college graduate and I am interested in working in the music..'. Oh wait..umm hello??? Umm..hi..I ...my name is Amani..and ..do you need any interns..?" was what I sounded like as I spoke to the woman on the other side of the line. Yeah...real smooth. Winning introduction. Go Amani. But despite the fumbles and stuttering, the woman who happened to answer the phone was the V.P. of A&R at the time and told me to come down the next day. HUH? WHAT? Did this really JUST happen? Uh I guess so. OK...SCORE!

Now you are probably wondering at this point, what does this story have to do with Kevin Liles? Most people are aware of the important position he played while at Def Jam Records then Island Def Jam Records and the countless Superstar Artists' careers he help build and influence (if you are not, please use google now). But what role did Kevin play in my career? Kevin was my mentor and my friend. I can proudly say, who I am today professionally can greatly be attributed to what I learned from Kevin. The many lessons, techniques, professional skills he taught me over the years, have never left me and I still use today. One bit of wisdom he told me during a difficult time at work with the office "politics" was "Don't worry about what other people say about you. What matters most is your work. Let your work speak for itself". Thank you Kevin for being such a great person and for reminding me to always "let my work speak for itself".

~ From Intern to CMO